• Wed, Aug 29 2012

Prince Harry Sex Tape Scandal Gets Even More Exciting Now That Cocaine Rumors Are In The Mix

Am I in Heaven or am I actually lucky enough to live in a world where a cocaine-fueled sex tape of Prince Harry exists? I could easily live off these rumors alone. Like Matthew McConaughey on an intense juice cleanse, I could get all my nutrients from these headlines.

Not only are we hearing about some woman being offered one million dollars for exclusive naked Prince Harry media (meaning a sex tape!), but now we’re learning that people at that party did cocaine. Maybe even other drugs.

According to Radar Online  and their crack team of sources, one brave soul stepped forward to say she witnessed drug use at this party.

The source at the party saw cocaine being used and also told Radar exclusively that a number of the guests were on drugs when they arrived at his suite. “Some were already rolling on shrooms (hallucinogenic mushrooms) when they arrived at the party, and some were just high on weed. And that’s exactly why no one there has come forward on the record…they don’t want to be implicated for any illegal activities,” the source revealed to Radar.

While I don’t remember this very special D.A.R.E PSA, I’m extra excited to see how this plays out over the next few days. If we’re lucky enough to see a sex tape emerge before labor day, I could safely say that this scandal eclipses (and breaks dawn) the neverending PR stunt that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are trying to pull off.

If the sex tape emerges after Labor Day, then I have my inspiration for my Halloween costume — sexy anonymous source with cocaine all over my face and shrooms all up in my mouth. It’s a win-win for everyone.

Well, except for Prince Harry, Prince Harry’s penis, the girls featured having coke-fueled sex with Prince Harry and all the royal nannies who are likely fired for failing to do their job.

It’ s not like “Stop Prince Harry from having drug-fueled orgies at all costs. Especially when strange American women enter his hotel room with cameras,” wasn’t in their job description. I’m sure it’s right under, “don’t let Harry wear Nazi costumes to the grocery story.”

So everyone join with me in prayer at the thought that all these rumors are true and we’ll have a sex tape of epic proportions streaming online soon.

(Photo: Wenn.com)

From Our Partners

Share This Post: