John Mayer Breaks Up With Katy Perry By Bringing The Britney Spears Song ‘Email My Heart’ To Life

Everyone’s real upset about the fact that John Mayer allegedly broke up with Katy Perry via e-mail. It’s not so much offensive because it’s immature, but because he did it from his Hotmail address. Ouch John!

I’ll never figure out why people are shocked by John Mayer when he’s a complete douchebag. That’s his schitck. No one will every look at his behavior and say, “looks like chivalry isn’t dead!” or “I can’t wait to introduce John Mayer to my family! They’ll totally love him!”

He’s good for a one-night stand with lots of protection, if only for the reason that it makes a great story when people are acting like their D-list reality star hook-up from spring break sophomore year actually matters. But I would never, ever date him. Not only because fedoras make me uncomfortable but also because my married name would be Jenni Maier-Mayer. And that’s ridiculous.

The good news out of all this b-level controversy is that we can now really understand the incredibly underrated Britney Spears’ song “Email My Heart.” Talk about being ahead of her time!

She wrote the song without even knowing that one day John Mayer would break Katy Perry’s heart over email — and that Katy Perry would stare longingly at her computer screen waiting for him to take her back.  While I could talk about this all day, I think the song sums up exactly how Katy Perry must be feeling right  now.

Britney Spears songs for the win!

(Photo: Michael Wright/WENN.com)

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    • http://twitter.com/LoveeMiley LovelyCyrusDays

      well we all knew that he broke up with taylor swift and Taylor Swift wrote a song about it, lets see is katy gonna make a song about him too?

    • http://twitter.com/LoveeMiley LovelyCyrusDays

      well we all knew that he broke up with taylor swift and Taylor Swift wrote a song about it, will Katy Perry make a song about him too? who knows! lol

      • Jenni

        Do you think she can write it in time for the VMAs?

    • hol77

      When has John ever wore a fedora!?! Maybe you’re confusing him with Gavin DeGraw…

      • Jenni

        Google John Mayer Fedora. Then file the results under “Not Okay”

    • Mackenzie

      It’s legit. Jenni, you did it again. :)

    • Flossy

      Sorry but I have no sympathy for a woman who dates a man that calls his penis a white supremicist and has a history of treating women badly, if she’s that dumb she deserves alll she gets and should consider herself lucky not to have caught an STD. Getting dumped by email is the least of her worries.

      • Jenni

        Whoa! Way to jump the gun there with your conclusion. How do we know she doesn’t have an STD? That dinner date could very well double as a “here’s the latest from my gyno” date.

      • JEN JEN

        John has not dated in 3 years…..guess I am whore too

    • JEN JEN

      This article is CRAP

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