• Wed, Aug 29 2012

Our Predictions For The Duggar Family In The Next Ten Years

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions next ten years

The Duggars are back! 19 Kids and Counting premiered last night, with only a quick nod back to last season’s miscarriage before jumping into much more important matters, like marrying off every eligible female in that family. Not only did the episode “Duggars Down the Aisle” follow Anna‘s sister Priscilla‘s wedding — complete with an awkward first kiss in front of everyone — but the camera men sat down with the five eldest Duggar girls to grill them on what they’re looking for in husbands.

All this looking toward the future had us pondering what the kids’ lives will be like in the next ten years. By 2022 human cloning will probably be legal, so Jim Bob and Michelle can churn out several kids a year instead of just one at a time (lousy womb), but what will happen to their biological kids? Last night’s episode held several hints about their future partners, career aspirations, and who will actually escape the Duggar compound.

Naturally, we couldn’t get to every kid, because after a while they start to all blur together; honestly, I think some of them simply haven’t developed personalities because they know they’d be ignored anyway. But the ones who wanted to be noticed definitely caught our attention, so read on!

Photo: Amazon

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Jana Duggar

I know what you’re thinking: Oldest girl Jana is so good with kids, she’s just gonna follow in Michelle’s footsteps. But I envision two distinct futures for her, both involving kids but not stuck in the same endless birth cycle her mother is. Since her sisters were giggling about Jana liking older men, I could see her shacking up with some older guy who already has a bunch of kids from his first marriage, and becoming the best stepmom ever. That, or she’ll continue her reality TV career by taking over the Supernanny helm and disciplining other people’s brats. “One screeching toddler?” she’ll scoff. “Try raising eighteen siblings!”

Photo: WTF Fundie Families

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Jedidiah Duggar

Someone mentions in the confessional how Jedidiah is always running around with a camera, so automatically I brand him the artist of the family. He’ll make moody, inexplicable films along the lines of James Franco‘s stuff, or maybe pull a Casey Affleck and orchestrate some weird I’m Still Here faux-documentary following around the hot celebrity of the time who’s tired of fame and looking to reinvent himself… like Maddox Jolie-Pitt.

Photo: 19 Kids and Counting wiki

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Jill Duggar

Jill says that she doesn’t necessarily need a husband, that she’s content with God’s plan for her. She continues to tell this to her nineteen cats that she’s named, all with the letter Q.

Photo: 19 Kids and Counting wiki

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Jinger Duggar

Yesterday’s clip already showed how badly Jinger needs to get away from her family and move to the big city. We bet she gets her wish, but not without a few years of negotiating with Jim Bob and Michelle for funds and trying to write her life story in coffee shops. Because yes, I can’t see Jinger as anyone other than Lena Dunham.

Photo: WTF Fundie Families

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Jeremiah Duggar

Ever since I noticed Jeremiah striking this kinda-douchey post in the opening credits, I’ve always known that he’s the Duggar boy with the most personality. I bet that Jim Bob will try and groom him to take over his position as charismatic religious figure, but Jeremiah will shrug off his dad’s control and focus on his GTL instead.

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Jessa Duggar

I know that Jinger is everyone’s favorite to escape this family, but after watching last night’s episode I’m convinced that Jessa is the sassiest Duggar girl. She has a perpetual smirk and dishes out the best one-liners like “We’re not just sitting around eating bon-bons and waiting for Prince Charming!” With her tendency to drop something resembling pop culture references, I predict that she’ll become a pop culture blogger, furtively posting under a screen name from within the Duggar compound.

Photo: Ransomed By One

Duggar Family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Joy Anna Duggar

Joy Anna seems like the quiet one, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she steals Jessa’s secret laptop to respond to the emails from fans that Jim Bob mentioned, find herself an internet boyfriend, and escape to meet him. I only hope that she’ll train herself on enough pirated episodes of To Catch a Predator that she’ll know when it’s a boy who actually wants to date her and not someone more dangerous.

Photo: 19 Kids and Counting wiki

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Josh Anna Duggar

Sorry to say, but Josh and Anna are probably gonna get divorced, either after he hits his midlife crisis at the ripe old age of 35, or once his glassy-eyed wife goes full tilt and murders him one night. And somehow, she’ll still get custody of the kids.

Duggar family 19 Kids and Counting 10x01 predictions Josie Duggar

Once Michelle has her 20th kid (and she and Jim Bob are currently trying!), Josie will develop lifelong anxiety over losing her coveted spot of “doted-upon preemie baby.” But in every subsequent relationship, whether platonic or romantic, she’ll look for someone to give her constant attention and coddling and will never learn to do anything for herself. She’ll also develop intense claustrophobia.

Photo: WTF Fundie Families

And as for the rest of them? They’ll all be diabetic, if they continue to subscribe to Jim Bob’s “a spoonful of sugar” cure for hiccups.

As a bonus, we tracked down the season 10 premiere. Watch it here and let us know your predictions for the kids!

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  • Duggarphile

    I think Jill will be a school teacher at some private school her parents approve of. Jinger will move to the city and find a nice guy. She’ll marry him and only have 3 kids. Jessa and Joy will live together and Joy will be an artist or a gym teacher at Jill’s school. Jed and Jer will start Twin Bro Productions like the Olsen twins with their production company. Josh and Anna will have twins, Melissa Mary and Matthew John, but the birth will be a nightmare for her and the doctor will have to tube tie her.

  • Duggarphile

    I also think if Michelle tries for another, it might kill her and Josie will feel terrible guilt over it even though it is not her fault. This baby will live and it will be Julie. Jim-Bob will find another Fundy wife to take Michelle’s place and this woman will be very close to the love-hungry younger children of the family.

  • Cocole

    All I know is if jessa was with me, she wouldnt be able to walk for a week ;-)

  • Mary

    If this was a show about divorced people with 19children everyone would be alright with that.They are not on state aid ,no food stamps and all the kids seem happy.They raise them in a way that if more parents tried we would not have 12year olds killing people. Why don’t you all go get a life and leave the Duggars alone.Whoever started this site needs to get over your jealousy and move on.

    • Stephanie

      Why does everyone defend the Duggars? They are antigay, antiwomans rights and about as right wing religious nutjobs as you can get. I guess its ok because they are all smiley when they babble on about how women shouldn’t show their knees and should limit themselves to being stay at home moms with clowncars for a uterus. That must be how you live right? Your husband/headship gave you permission to use the internet before you posted this I take it. Keep drinking that Duggar Koolaid. They are laughing their narrowminded bigoted asses off all the way to the bank.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Goldie-Treasure/100001545308532 Goldie Treasure

      Mary is probably anti-gay and anti-woman too. Those are the type of people who defend them. They also love to claim that JB and Michelle raise their kids without welfare, but here’s the gotcha: Jill, Jana, Jessa, and Jinger raise the kids without welfare while “mommy” and “daddy” just try for more kids that they won’t raise.

    • Christ follower

      What do you have against anti-ga? I think that is good to stand far away from gays and homos there are so deep into there sin they don’t even realize it.

    • Christ Unfollower

      “Judge not that ye be not judged” Matthew 7:1 The anti-gay belief, my dear, is a discriminatory and prejudiced viewpoint that is just another way for judgemental people to remain ignorant. Surely, yes, Romans 1:36-37 is a rather clear-cut (yet antiquated and single-faceted) judgement of homosexual behavior. However, I think your type, the high-and-mighty (prideful, you know, like the deadly sin) types pass judgement onto the rest of the population. However, if you are going to pass judgement on one sin I’d prefer you pass your judgement equally, like on the 80% of Americans who have sex before marriage, and on the prideful and intentionally ignorant clan that you come from as well. To avoid a group of people simply because they sin would be to avoid your very own family, your friends, and yourself. I promise you there is not a single ‘non-sinner’ on this planet, and it’s quite obvious from the comments you have made, you are not one either.

    • Laura

      This comment fails on so many levels it’s not even funny. I love how Matthew 7:1 is drawn like a gun every time anyone ever says anything that people don’t like. Fact check: the Bible’s condemnation of homosexual behavior is neither antiquated or single-faceted. God condemns both those who ‘work that which is unseemly’ and those who have pleasure in those that do it. Secondly, although I agree that a lot of people who are against homosexual marriage are hypocritical in not also condemning the problem at its roots (rampant fornication, divorce, and adultery), there are a whole lot of us who do indeed pass judgement on such things and we see homosexuality as being only part of the problem behind the breakdown of marriage in society.
      Thirdly and finally, we are not obligated to be around certain people who are flaunting their sin in our faces and demanding that we accept it as perfectly fine.
      So, yes, we are judging. You’re judging too. Every time you say anything negative about someone else, you are judging. Such as ‘the prideful and intentionally ignorant clan that you come from’, ‘it’s quite obvious from the comments you have made, you are not [a non-sinner] either.’ Etc.

    • WWJD

      Yesterday, I decided to follow the bible literally. My neighbour is really upset that I threw rocks at his face when he made eye contact with my wife… the cops came and I was all like: But Jeebus told me to! And they were like: you flipping idiot, don’t take the Bible literally.

    • JesusFreak

      I don’t see why people are criticizing the Duggars. They can choose what they want to do just like gays can choose what they want to do, and I don’t see people criticizing them. Who cares if they dress the way you don’t dress or their schooling isn’t something you agree with? This is their life and I’m pretty sure they don’t need the crap people are putting online about their family. So leave the criticism behind and start minding your own business.

    • Alexis Rhiannon

      …you don’t see anybody criticizing the gays?

    • JesusFreak

      I meant to write, I don’t see people criticizing them on here. I thought I wrote that…..,

    • Canada

      You are born gay and God doesn’t make mistakes! The bible was not written by God it was written by men and is a group of stories and condemnations to bring about fear to create law and order in a time when there was none! At least 1 or more Duggars will turn out to be gay as those are the statistics but as you don’t believe in proper scientific facts either or proper education which is apparent in your statement and lack of moral fiber, which by the way has nothing to do with being gay and everything to do with being a decent, loving human being. I have known many gay people and many religious people and have found the gay people to have been far less hypocritical and nasty; where as the religious people I have met have had no problem treating others like crap, judging everything and don’t mind walking over and ripping off decent people (not all religious people but a good amount). I believe in karma and most of those people like yourself are going to have answer for you hatred at some point and believing what you do, you should not be so anxious to meet your maker as he will punish you for hurting and hating on his children.

    • WWJD

      That sounds like a comment someone in the closet would make..

    • snarkywitch

      you know what’s scarier than us homos? your spelling.. and please, stand far away. I don’t want your bigot stank on me.

    • suki

      OMG! Did you really just type that? What have gays done to you? They don’t bother me at all. Let them live their life.

    • suki

      That is what I have an issue with! The antigay, against women and they don’t associate with others outside of their religious beliefs is a big problem.

    • Christ follower

      Thank you Mary It is nice to see that there are others who think the same way and want to help support such a great family that has good beliefs.

    • smiavs

      Their home is declared as a church. That means they don’t pay taxes. If avoiding one’s duties as an American citizen doesn’t count as state aid, I don’t know what does.

  • http://www.facebook.com/clemie.powell Clemie Powell

    is josh and anna duggar divorce?

    • Christ follower

      No Josh and Anna are not divorced I talked with Josh during Thanksgiving and they are still standing strong in there beliefs and are not wavering in there faith.

  • mrshaggs

    I’d rather watch Jersey Shore, and that show is scheisse.

  • Christ follower

    I don’t see how you could say such tarable things about the Duggar family, they are a great family and have great values and I personally know them all and none of them would be so deceitful and dis honest to God or their parents

    • wwjd

      Because God totally said brainwash your kids, use them as servants, and be sexist. It’s in chapter Full of Crap, Verse Ignorant Redneck

    • smiavs

      Well, if you’re part of their community, that would certainly explain your spelling and grammar.

  • tamtomjdcalrily@aol.com

    A lot of discrimination coming from far left feminazis who promote tolerance as part of their all inclusive agenda.

    • smiavs

      People on the far left don’t promote tolerance. You tolerate back pain or noisy neighbors. People on the far left actually practice the whole love thy neighbor thing you loons tout, so what they promote is acceptance, not tolerance.

  • Ess

    The duggar Family has something which little family’s have: they share love and are really connected with eachother. Now a days people live for themselfs, but the duggars live for their family and I actually think that’s precisous way of living, even I don’t want to live it by myself.

    • wwjd

      If by connected, you mean the kids are brainwashed and obvious kool aid drinkers.. yes, that love certainly is heart warming.

  • Susanna

    I like watching them

  • anjealka

    Looks like we might have our first answer. Looks like Jessa is the first daughter courting! She will be 21 in November and her “boyfriend”(not sure what you call it courtship partner) Ben is just turned 18! he lives in Arkansas so I guess the will film everything. They make a cute couple. Interested to see how it plays out.

    • http://www.mamikaze.com/ mamikaze

      I was so sad to read the news of her father approving of her courtship, with a younger man no less!

    • anjealka

      A younger man is ok but not one that just finished homeschool/high school in June & is just starting his windshield business. His website says he can’t process insurance or credit cards yet. I guess the TLC wedding special money will help them get their start. The issue is so many people (sadly) look up to and follow the Duggars. In todays economy with no degree or even GED an 18 can’t buy a house debt free and start a family as single wage earner(without help like family or TLC) and most families don’t have these resources.

    • wwjd

      This Ben guy seems like a total obsessive freak. Read his God-y-God posts? Anyone that obsessed with God is going to lock her in a tower. I bet his right hand is really sore.

    • anjealka

      I have read his rants. He is 18 but talks like he has so much life experience and knows it all. I hope Jessa is happy and it was her choice to court with him and her choice to stay with him. I think they are very lucky to have TLC money or how would 18 year old Ben support them, fixing windshields? Ben wouldn’t be my choice for a spouse or a son in law.

  • Ammee

    Ok. The duggar family christian like and modest family michelle and jim bob are just trying to protect their children from stuff that the not supposed to see (bad stuff)

  • browndiva

    At least the kids are well mannered and behaved.

  • PromoteLove

    I looove the Duggars!These people are very happy! Its so sad that you would wish bad on such a loving, happy family. Unconventional people are refreshing! Its good to have this amazing program on TV. Its better than the filth like Scandal that promote distasteful lifestyles.

  • May

    Well, you were very wrong about Jill. She is getting married June 21, 2014.

  • JesusFreak

    I don’t agree with putting your kids in a bubble. But I don’t think the Duggars are. They are basically saying, as long as you live in this house you abide by our rules! They chose the way of courting and the children seem to be happy about that!! The bible says, Train up a child in the way he shall go so that when he is old he will not depart from it! You can’t force your child to marry a Christian husband or wife! You can pray and ask God, then hope. It’s your child’s faith not yours and as far as I have seen. The Duggars haven’t done anything wrong in order to get such negative comments.

  • snarkywitch

    I’m fairly certain that one of those boys is going to be living in San Francisco with his “roommate” Julio. I forget which boy.. I think his name starts with a J.

  • Roseanne Pickering

    I know the Duggars would love to round out their clan at an even 20 but if they truly believe what they preach, they may have to accept the fact that God sometimes says, “No!” The last couple of pregnancies Michelle has nearly died. I would be a little worried about leaving my husband with that many kids or my kids having to grow up without a mother. On a recent episode Michelle and Jim Bob went to see a fertility specialist to see if Michelle was still able to get pregnant. Some times its not a matter of “can you?” but a matter of “should you?” Despite all the guff these folks take about their religious beliefs, I really like them and would hate to see a tragedy occur. Everyone has the right to raise their kids the way they want and as long as the children are healthy, happy and mentally well adjusted then I say let them be. Nobody is suffering mental, physical or sexual abuse and quite frankly, there are worse ways to raise your kids. At least their children care about each other, they don’t have foul mouths and when they go to a restaurant, they’re not running around bugging the daylights out of other patrons. The Duggars know what they’re kids are doing and who their friends are–that’s not a crime. In fact, more parents should be aware of that. They also don’t let their kids rot their brains on TV, the internet or music with x-rated lyrics. Bravo! They expect their kids to help out around the house and then go and play; like normal children should. Home schooling is not a bad thing especially if you live way out in the country like they do. So you can harp on this family all you want. If you don’t agree with their life choices–do something else.

  • John Holmes

    If it’s true that 10% of the general population is gay! we have a couple phaggots hidden in duggar Rita ville! One of the boys who has a big set of biceps has that strange look when his mammy starts talking about gods plan to get him moving up and down between the knobby knees of some simple country bumpkin, he cringes! I see some born again queer church giving him a $200k lobbyist job like his big brother got in DC to front the Focus on the family movement. I see jim $$$ bob getting a million dollar sponsorship gig as a pitchman for “Atlas Men’s Vitamins” now with Viagra boost! And his late night infomercials touting the endless iron and racehorse stamina you get from these all natural nutt igniter pills! Amy? Getting knocked up by some shady Nashville record producer who is a fake, and filmed her bent over an amplifier taking a rapid shagging with her jeans around her ankles …..Joy Anna running off with Flava flave !