Things are moving awfully quickly between the 22-year-old Taylor Swift and her 18-year-old boyfriend Conor Kennedy. Not only did she toilet train him during the final days of summer, but she also flew him out to see her on in Nashville on a private plane.
A source who sounds like she’s living in the writing room for a Hallmark movie told Page Six, “Taylor missed Conor so much, she sent a plane for him a few days later. He’s been with her ever since, and his family doesn’t know when he will be back. Things have become so serious between them so fast that no one in Hyannis Port would be surprised if they eloped.”
Considering the fact that Conor starts his senior year of high school on September 6th at Deerfield Academy, I can guess when he’ll be back. But I suppose the story’s a lot more romantic if we pretend that he’s not a very strict academic schedule that preempts whatever wacky hijinks Taylor Swift has up her petticoat.
And with high school in mind, I thought we could help Taylor prepare for the separation by coming up with some fun activities for her to while he’s away at boarding school, doing homework and going to lax practice and other things that high school seniors do.
Learn about sex. Sure young Conor may be cool with keep things above the corset for now. But when prom rolls around, he’ll be wanting to take off the training wheels. It will be in Taylor’s best interest if she does a little googling first and learns the ins and outs of sexual intercourse. I think she’ll be surprised to see that a penis isn’t really a one-eyed snake.
Research colleges that let freshman travel with their superstar girlfriend. Just because Conor will want to go to college doesn’t mean he needs to literally go. Why not look up a few online schools for him that he can think about attending as he supports Taylor’s career.
Write a long, sad song about a man putting his studies ahead of you. Because nothing says “Merry Christmas, hope exams went well!” quite like hearing a song your girlfriend wrote about your relationship.
Make baby food. Duh. Conor’s a baby.
Stalk European Royal Families. Once the Kennedy family figures out how to get rid of Taylor, she’ll need a new family to work her way into. How about taking a trip across the ocean and making a list of all her future potential boyfriends. The only rule? They have to be born before 1995.
Learn to crochet. No time like the present.
Murder Carly Rae Jepsen. That little sneak’s trying to get all up in Taylor’s territory with her innocent first kiss stories. Better to get rid of her now before she’s famous enough that her disappearance will cause suspicion.
Watch every episode of Touched by an Angel. I feel like that show’s so up Taylor’s alley, it might even be her neighbor.
(Photo: Pacific Coast News)