When Bachelor Pad first started, I knew that even if I lost my head and fell for contestants that I didn’t start out liking, there were at least two people who I would never have anything but negative feelings for. The first one of these people was Kalon McMahon, from this last season of The Bachelorette with Emily Maynard. If you’ll recall, he started the season by arriving via helicopter, and proceeded to scheme and shiest his way through the season until he was ultimately eliminated for referring to Emily’s six-year old daughter Ricki as ‘baggage’. So classy. It’s no wonder everybody hated him. He was the unequivocal bad boy of the show, a position that he obviously relished, as he references it constantly and made a point of bringing that persona to Bachelor Pad. He’s lied at every single Elimination Ceremony, and according to him, there’s not one single person he hasn’t been dishonest with.
…except for his partner, Lindzi Cox. Now Lindzi I disliked for different, less logical reasons. She doesn’t strike me as a particularly bad person, but she spells her name completely wrong and her hair is so ridiculously attractive that I sometimes can’t even follow the dialogue in a scene on Bachelor Pad because I’m too distracted by its silken shine. It’s just not fair. Those two things, combined with the fact that she and Kalon hooked up early on and subsequently became infatuated with each other uninterested in spending time with anyone else on the show, made me pretty much write her off as a compelling, sympathetic character.
But then a strange thing happened. Week by week, these two weren’t just hooking up and scheming. They were hooking up and scheming and falling for each other. A couple weeks ago, when he got called on lying and Chris demanded to know who he was really voting for, Kalon’s response was, “Well I would never lie to Lindzi, so whatever she told you is true.” Whaaaat? What happened to Kalon the master-schemer who wants everyone to know what a good puppet-master he is? Why is he admitting that he’s honest and open with this girl? Then the two of them went on their one-on-one bridge date, and again, Kalon was putting himself out there and letting himself be vulnerable. He was sharing his feelings for Lindzi and not even insulting her behind her back in the individual interviews like he’d done for Emily.
And this week, when the two of them found themselves on the chopping block, I realized how deeply I’d accidentally fallen for them when I found myself actually rooting for them to stay. The contestants got teamed up into couples this week, so in addition to Kalon and Lindzi, it’s down to Ed and Jaclyn, Blakely and Tony, Chris and Sarah…and Rachael and Nick, who just got thrown together after Michael got eliminated last week and aren’t a couple at all. It could be that Kalon’s just a master salesman, but I really was pulling for him and Lindzi to stay and for Rachael and Nick to get eliminated. I believe that the two of them want to spend more time together, and I believe that they’re falling in love with each other. How did you do to that to me, you evil, manipulative Bachelor Pad producers?
But sadly, I don’t get everything I want, so Kalon and Lindzi were eliminated. (Chris and Sarah won the challenge, which was a spelling bee, and after getting runner-up, Ed and Jaclyn earned the right to give roses to any couple. They chose Blakely and Tony, so those two couples were safe.) But on the bright side, Google tells me that they’re still together — a fact that I believe because they rode off in the same limo together after Kalon ditched his and ran to hers to tell her he was falling in love with her.
Sigh. Two schemers falling in love in the back of a limo. It’s the true American dream.