While we all recovered from the tragic John Mayer and Katy Perry break-up by continuing on with our lives in the normal fashion, Robert Pattinson used it as an opportunity to stare at her boobs.
Or so the latest rumors will have you believe about the heartbroken vampire who’s so horny that he’s lusting over her famous cleavage on a classy dinner date. Sorry Kristen Stewart, your chances of getting back together with Robert Pattinson just got thrwarted by an exposed areola. It happens to the best of us. Just keep your head up and remember that you get dibs on the next rebound that comes out of an uneventful celebrity break-up.
Despite the fact that the rumor about Robert Pattinson and Katy Perry going on a date got proven false last week, the anonymous sources are it again. Rather than getting creative and coming up with a new celebrity for Robert Pattinson to go out with in the city, they’ve thrown the name Katy Perry back into the ring.
Sugarscape reports that the lovebirds spent a flirtatious evening together talking about sparkles, glitter and the collapse of humanity in Syria. Collapse of humanity in Syria, of course, being a euphemism for the most effective ways to show off cleavage on a fictional date.
Last night the two were spotted on a romantic candlelit dinner for two, but rather spending it slagging off their exes Kristen Stewart and John Mayer, the attention was very much on Katy’s boobies. Nice. A source told The Sun: “She wore a tight, sparkly top and Rob was looking at her breasts all night. He tried to avoid it when talking to her but as soon as she looked away to talk to someone else, Rob would sneak a peek.”
While this story could totally be true considering that Rob Pattinson and Katy Perry are two single people looking to mingle (in the headlines), I doubt it. Mostly because I heard from an insider that Rob Pattinson actually wants to date Dakota Fanning. He totally fell for her when she starred in New Moon. But twist, Dakota Fanning’s lusting over an on-set intern who she met on the set of Eclipse. But that intern’s totally not into college students and totally not fan-girling over Fanning if you know what I mean.
He actually flirted heavily with Kristen Stewart’s cousin who came to the set once. However her cousin, The Sun probably reports, got knocked up while visiting cousin K.Stew in Hollywood and met Star Magazine’s in-house OB-GYN who’s best known for giving medical opinions on maybe-pregnant celebs he’s never met. The two got married this fall in Reese Witherspoon’s backyard.
Katy Perry’s cleavage officiated the ceremony and they’re planning to deliver the first child on the road, as an homage to Kristen Stewart’s On The Road.