• Sun, Aug 26 2012

Rob Kardashian Is Dating Rihanna In Hopes Of Reminding America That He Exists

It’s easy to forget, but there are more Kardashians than just Kim and Kourtney and Khloe and Kris and Kendall and Kylie and Kinky and Kobalt and Kimchee. There’s also a lost, forgotten brother, KRob. (The K is silent.) Rob Kardashian has actually appeared on every season of his family’s reality TV show Keeping Up With The Kardashians, but in the same way that his parents forgot to love him enough to remember to give him a ‘K’ name (Keith, Korbin, Kimothy, Konundrum), sometimes America forgets to love him enough to remember that he’s famous.

But luckily for Rob, he is still a Kardashian in his true heart of hearts, so he has all of the same fame-whoring impulses that course through the veins of his nearest, dearest relatives, and he will do anything to get himself back into the spotlight. Kim made a sex tape, Kourtney got knocked up out of wedlock, and Khloe married an NBA player. And Rob…well, Rob went on The Choice, which should really be a cautionary tale about the depths that humanity can delve to, but that’s another story.

He also went on a date with Rihanna, and that’s what we’re really talking about, here. His family has replaced him with Kanye West (come on you guys, he has a K-name and a big ass), and Rob had to put his best, last hope in the hands of the most over-saturated popstar out there: Rihanna herself. Now, god knows these two aren’t actually dating.

Rob was raised in a house with way too many powerful women to ever even consider raising his hand to one, and a respectful man is an immediate turn off to our girl Ri-Ri. BUT. The two were photographed together, which in the land of paparazzi and over-zealous bloggers (hi guys!) that we live in, is exactly the same thing.

The two of them went go-karting, and you know it was a special occasion, because Rihanna put on her best floor-length umpire muu-muu and flipped off the paps on the way out. I don’t like it and I don’t support it, but damn, I have to respect it. Because at the end of the day, I’ve been reminded of two things: that Rob exists, and that I hate myself for writing about him.

And that sentence, my friends, is how you know that the Kardashians are doing their job.

(Image: Dan Jackman / WENN.com)

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