A true star celebrates a birthday Saturday. Her glowing beauty and versatility have captured the attention of millions of fans since she arrived on this earth 25 years ago. I’m referring, of course, to Blake Lively’s hair. I guess I’m also referring to Blake Lively, but it’s hard for me to watch Blake without focusing most of my attention on her long, golden locks. In fact, I’m not entirely sure what she even looks like, facially speaking.
I think it’s appropriate, on this celebratory occasion, to pay tribute to Blake Lively’s perfect flaxen mane, because it has looked exactly the same for as long as we’ve known her. I’m assuming she was born with a full head of flowing, Lady Godiva-style tresses which enveloped her like a gold-spun blanket.
Just think about it. Omitting any modifications which did not involve hair dye or scissors, when has Blake ever sported anything but those beachy blonde waves? Even in her unreasonably endearing high school yearbook shot, she’s got the same look.
And from Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants through Savages, with all those Gossip Girl shenanigans in between, her hair has been the same shiny, enviable style.
Part of me wishes Blake would break out of her comfort zone and try something different, because I think it’s impossible for her to look bad. Even if she went the Regina George route and ended up looking like a British man, she’d be the sexiest chap in history. Still, despite my confidence that she can do no wrong, I’ve come to the conclusion that a drastic change is inappropriate, for a few reasons.
First of all, I’m almost 100% convinced that if Blake Lively even tried cutting her hair shorter than chest-length or dyeing it any color besides pure sunshine, it would instantly grow back and change hue like Tim Allen’s beard in The Santa Clause. I believe it’s a disorder Blake has struggled with since birth and eventually embraced. Or maybe in the same yearbook which features that adorable photo, a classmate wrote (as someone always does), “Never change,” and Blake took them very seriously.
Second, that style has shown itself to be the most multitalented hairdo ever invented. Anyone who has watched Gossip Girl has noticed Serena van der Woodsen’s many hair transformations. My three favorites are the Messy But Flawless Ponytail, the Twisty Braid, and the infamous Maid of Honor Masterwork.
This final updo was pretty elaborate, but I can’t blame the hair stylist who saw the glorious raw material growing out of Blake’s scalp and was inspired to create something magnificent. The result was a combination of a beehive, a side pony, a Lady Gaga hair bow, and a Royal Wedding fascinator. In Sofia Coppola’s Marie Antoinette, there’s a moment in which Kirsten Dunst, as the title queen, with an enormous teetering wig on her head which would make even Marge Simpson jealous, innocently asks if it’s too much. Before walking onto the set to film Blair Waldorf’s wedding, Blake Lively asked her stylist the same thing, but he was too busy kissing her feet to hear her.
My final, simplest reason for never wanting Blake Lively’s hair to change is that it looks so damn good all the time. Even while being held hostage in Savages, her hair looked flawless. Through five seasons of Gossip Girl, as her fellow actors have sported questionable hairdos, from Leighton Meester’s limp locks to Taylor Momsen’s rotting corpse look to whatever dead animal was living on Penn Badgley’s head last season, Blake’s hair has remained gorgeous. Why mess with a good thing?
While Miley Cyrus fans weep over their recent loss, Blake Lively devotees rejoice in the actress’s 25th year of heavenly hair.