Well it’s been 16 minutes since anyone’s talked about Miley Cyrus. So naturally, I thought I’d take one for the Internet team and discuss the latest Miley Cyrus pictures. The ones that are making us question her career ambitions as well as her loyalty to Liam Hemsworth and their potential unborn child.
“Jenni, what are you talking about? Isn’t it enough that you created a career plan for Kristen Stewart today? Must you continue to type nonsense?”
“Yes, random person who’s speaking aloud to me. It’s Friday. In Internet land, that means slow day. Unless Vivienne Jolie-Pitt gets caught making out with her Maleficent director in scandalous Us Weekly photos, I’m stuck blogging about Miley Cyrus pictures.”
So with that exchange out of the way, let’s proceed. Miley Cyrus came to New York this week. I’m guessing to meet me, but I assume her people just didn’t connect with my people for whatever reasons.
While out shopping in the city, paparazzi photographed her. That’s right, despite the fact Miley’s perfectly capable of paparazzi-ing herself via Twitter, she let the professionals take a few photos. She’s generous like that.
While people commented on her haircut like it’s last week or something, I noticed something else. The military jacket she tied around her waist. Considering that it’s very warm out in NYC and that there’s no way that huge jacket fits her tiny frame correctly and it’s not 1991, I can only presume one thing.
Miley Cyrus joined the military.
She’s through with this invasive media and she’s through competing with Josh Hutcherson for Liam Hemsworth’s affections. And you know what, she’s even through with journalists like me blogging about her uterus and if it’s currently vacant or occupied. (Which I find to be a perfectly valid question that needs to be asked every single day.)
While we’ll miss her twitpics and her drastic haircuts and even her dog-adoption-addcition, we’re happy she’s going to serve our country. God bless Miley Cyrus! May your experience at war be so magical that it inspires a Nicholas Sparks novel!
(Photo: Pacific Coast News)