Taylor Swift had a brilliant week.Â According to Billboard, as of Tuesday Taylor had sold 623,000 digital copies of her new song We Are Never Getting Back Together.Â That number broke the previous one-week single sales total by almost 200,000.
And, over the weekend, Taylor supposedly crashed a wedding near Boston with Conor Kennedy,Â the 18-year-old she was babysitting.Â Whatâs that?Â Oh, of course, the 18-year-old sheâs dating I meant to say.
While Taylor is saying she was invited to the wedding, the mother of the bride, Vicki Kennedy, is claiming that Taylor stole the spotlight from the bride and basically ruined the affair.
You would think Taylor would be more sensitive about interrupting one of the most important moments of someoneâs life, instead it sounds like Taylor Swift Kanye Wested this wedding.Â I heard she interrupted the vows to announce, âIâmma let you finish with these nuptials, but Beyonce had one of the best weddings of all time,â which was a weird thing to say considering Beyonce wasnât there.
Nevertheless, I know what Taylor was really up to when she crashed the wedding.Â This was clearly a promotional tool for her upcoming album, Red, which is being released Oct. 22, 2012.
With digital sales for music in the toilet, Taylor is obviously planning to ruin a bunch of personal events for people she doesnât know to get more publicity, thereby increasing sales of her record.
I think this is an innovative way of promoting an album.Â Artists have taken drastic steps to promote albums before, but never has an artist been so disruptive, which has to be exciting for fans of her music.
Wonât it be fun for her fans to be able to say things like, âRemember when her single stayed at number one for the eighth straight week because she destroyed the shockingly beautiful and sad moment-of-silence we had while we laid our father down into his grave.Â What a great moment to be a fan!â
So, here as some headlines and quotes Iâm exited to see throughout the lead up to her albumâs release, which is 59 days away.
Taylor Swift Crashes First Game of NFL Season, Gets Crushed By Entire Defensive Line ââWhen she came onto the field with a guitar and started singing her single “Weâre Never Getting Back Together” in the middle of a pass play during the first quarter I thought sheâs probably selling 200,000 albums right thereâ, said Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, âbut when our defensive line confused her for Peyton Manning and they all tackled her at the same time I thought howâd that happened that skinny girl doesnât look like Peyton Manning at all.Â Also, she might not be alive.ââ
Taylor Swift Interrupts Conception, Finds Out What Sex Looks LikeÂ ââI was out promoting my album in a tiny motel in Albuquerque and I stumbled into this stinky room where I saw these two people.Â They weâre in the bed moving weirdly, and at first I was like, âWhat is that fleshy looking stick thing doing being poked into that small hole that appears to be stuck to that woman,â and then I was like, âOh my God, that stick must be attached to that man and that hole must be part of that woman.âÂ And then, I was like, âThis must be what sex is!ââ
I think that last one would be an especially brilliant PR move.Â But maybe Iâm wrong. Maybe she did just crash a wedding she wasnât invited to with no other motives other than to have a good time.Â So what? It doesnât really matter because she has great a chance to redeem herself.
My sister is getting married next October and thatâs a wedding Taylor Swift has an invitation to because Iâm extending one to her right now.Â That will be good timing because thatâs when Iâm planning to release my debut collection of humor columns.