Wasn’t it enough that Carly Rae Jepsen drove her catchy summer song “Call Me Maybe” so deep into our brains that we can’t tell someone to “call me” anymore without tacking on the obligatory “maybe, lol?” Did she have to tell MTV that she’s never met a bad kisser?
Either she’s lying or she’s the luckiest 25-year-old alive. Because she claims she received her first kiss at the spinster-y age of 17 from a jazz singer named Brendan Call , I’m inclined to say she’s lying. Not because 17 is oh so old, but because a jazz singer named Brenden Call sounds very suspicious. Like too good to be true suspicious.
Or maybe I’m just jealous because my first kiss was in a renovated barn at summer camp. His name was Daniel Something — and we started out our relationship with false pretenses. Namely I said, “this is not my first kiss.” I suppose I preferred he think that I was a horrible kisser, rather than a novice. So yes, could just be jealously.
While promoting her upcoming album Kiss during an MTV interview, she says she’s heard of bad kisses, but never experienced them herself.
And with the good kisses, ultimately come the bad ones, but fortunately for Jepsen, she has yet to have a bad kiss experience. ”No I haven’t, luckily,” Jepsen said. “I have a couple of girlfriends who’ve told me some horror stories but I’ve never had a really terrible kiss before.”
During my freshman year a guy bit me while we made out on the dance floor. When I said, “what the fuck was that?” He said I’m an alligator. To which I said, “no you’re not and that hurt.” He responded, “but seriously I have an alligator in my bedroom. Wanna see?” And he did. Pretty sure that’s not legal. Anyway, point of the story. Everyone has at least one bad kiss story.
How is it possible that Carly Rae Jepsen has none? Please prove me right by leaving your worst kiss story below. Bonus points if you also got bit by an alligator owner.
(Photo: Pacific Coast News)