Despite What You Hear Today, Robert Pattinson Is Not Homeless

Last night our favorite victimized vampire, Robert Pattinson, went on Jimmy Kimmel Live to continue giving non-answers to semi-questions. It’s possibly the least riveting press tour ever because we actually have a celebrity with an interesting personal life and he instead wants to talk about irreverent topics.

He should really save all these clever anecdotes for a time in his life when he’s not making headlines everyday for his incredibly public break-up with his maybe-girlfriend Kristen Stewart. That’s just a little free PR advice from someone who has to read about this every day.

But moving on from my completely unsolicited advice to the part of the interview that everyone’s quoting today with enthusiastic headlines exclaiming “Robert Pattinson is Homeless!”

Jimmy: “Last time you were here you were homeless.”

Rob:  “I still am. No, I rented this archway and I just live behind it…In one of those big trash cans.”

While everyone who hears it in context knows it’s clearly a joke, because OF COURSE ROBERT PATTINSON ISN’T HOMELESS! He’s a huge movie star with millions of dollars. Even if he’s not living in the house he’s shares with Kristen Stewart and even if he’s not staying with a friend, he could buy a new house easily. Probably more easily than you can buy a cup of coffee in the morning.

Nevertheless, several celebrity sites today led with headlines alluding to Rob Pattinson giving a heartbreaking confession to Jimmy Kimmel about being homeless. So before you start saving up money to send Rob, watch the interview. He’s going to be okay.

In fact, he’s going to be more than okay. Every man should have the cheating scandal fallout that Rob’s had in the past few weeks.


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    • Irish Girl

      That was an under-the-radar interview, wasn’t it? I didn’t even know he was on Kimmel till the last minute. And the elephant hasn’t gotten any smaller; he’s just gotten more comfortable with having it around.

      • Dillinger910

        Naw, I knew about after GMA. I find it funny he can’t even joke about something without it turning into a story.

      • Dillinger910

        Sorry about the double up IG, but do you think him walking with her down the red carpet is the start of planting the seeds.

      • Jenni

        Oh yes, this is all leading up to the beautiful reunion on the red carpet. He has to start speaking highly of her, so all his fans will stop hating on her so much.

      • Irish Girl

        I think he would do that anyway, actually. But yes, I agree with you. And stunt or no, my guess is that they’ll be pretty much reconciled by the time the red carpet is unrolled, and they’ll be kissing on it. The paps will go into spasms over that one.

      • Aitch Slavic

        But so far he is not speaking of her AT ALL! so it better start I guess!

      • Irish Girl

        If this is a stunt, then yes. If it’s not a stunt, then yes.