You know how to know when when you’re too drunk? When you start challenging Olympic swimming champions like Ryan Lochte to an impromptu race at 3 A.M. Prince Harry may be 3rd in line to be a king and he might even be 1st in line for brother with the most hair, but that doesn’t make him a winner when it comes to sports. Especially when it comes to Olympic sports.
Nevertheless, the two men ended up in the XS Nightclub swimming pool at the Wynn Hotel in Vegas. You know Vegas, right? The one city in America where everyone uses their best judgement. I’m sure you’ve heard about it. “What happens in Vegas gets shared on Facebook in overly long bachelorette photo albums” is the city’s official motto.
So I guess Prince Harry got sloshed, spotted Ryan Lochte and felt the need to not get laid that night. What else would possess a man to enter a race he would undoubtedly lose?
And like you probably guessed, Ryan Lochte won. Then he screamed “Jeah!” and invited every girl back to his hotel room for to get his autograph. His penis autograph. Yes, in addition to being an Olympic gold medalist, Ryan Lochte’s also a proud card-carrying member of the illustrious Pen15 club.
While Ryan Lochte had non-one-night-stands with everyone at the hotel, Prince Harry trudged back to this hotel room, watched a little Nick at Nite and learned a valuable lesson about challenging Olympians to races. Now a speaking test, he might have won.
(Photo: CPA, PacificCoastNews.com)