• Tue, Aug 21 2012

Vanity Fair Thought It Was Okay To Ask Carson Daly If Christina Aquilera Squirts

On behalf of all faux-journalists who sometimes cross the line, I want to apologize for the fact Vanity Fair’s George Wayne found it acceptable to ask Carson Daly if he thought ex-girlfriend Christina Aguilera squirted while orgasming. And asking that during an interview for an article not titled “How Many of Carson Daly’s Ex-Girlfriends Squirted While Orgasming?”

Not only do I never want to think about Christina Aguilera squirting, but I don’t want to think about Carson Daly thinking about it. That’s private. Like real private. Even when it comes to my celebrity obsessions, I don’t want to know. I don’t want to know about their ejaculation or their orgasm face or the weird noises they make. Sorry, my fantasies stop at “then we have great sex.”

While clearly George Wayne’s start there.

“And then as she struggled to take her tights off, I noticed I had a rash on my arm. Was my eczema back? Ugh. I scratched it as she pulled one leg out of her tights. Dammit how long do tights take to get off?”

Gossip Cop says that rather than shuffling away in embarrassment, George Wayne continued to press Carson for details.

“Are you kidding me? Is that your opener?” he replied. “I have no idea. I can’t imagine the thought. I mean, really.”

Wayne continues, “I mean, clearly — just look at the outfits she chooses to wear onstage. Tell that girl to put some clothes on! I believe that is a rational question to ask you. I know it is a bit off-piste.”

Yes, are you kidding George? While we’re all about questioning Xtina’s outfits on The Voice and why she feels compelled to wear bedazzled diapers, we’ve never wondered about her orgasming. So no it’s not rational because our minds NEVER went there.

I suppose the only good thing that came out this interview was that I gained a little respect for Carson Daly. At least he didn’t go all John Mayer and answer the question. Now let’s just hope he doesn’t go all Taylor Swift  and sing about it.

(Photo: Wet Paint)

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