I know I keep promising this every week, but I swear to god The Real Housewives of New York City is about to get good. They’re going to St. Bart’s soon as a group, and this week there were two instances of actual yelling! I have a super big RHONY boner right now, because it’s my absolute favorite thing ever when these ladies scream at each other.
First was Heather Thomson attempting to throw down with Ramona Singer. I say ‘attempting’ not because she couldn’t annihilate her in a fair fight, but because Ramona continues to do that thing where she drops a crazy bomb and then flees the scene. So Heather continued to fight with her by proxy, through Ramona’s husband Mario Singer, and through Ramona’s
paid media consultant professional human rottweiler friend Aviva Drescher. Heather was upset at the fact that Aviva, Ramona, and Sonja Morgan started talking about LuAnn de Lesseps and her boyfriend Jacques as soon as they walked out the door, and she was trying to explain that to Aviva. Little did she know that Ramona was perched over her shoulder like an eavesdropping little elf who picked a fight as soon as she heard something interesting. So that was exciting. A lot of angry gesticulating from across the room from Ramona, and calm, collected calling of Ramona crazy from Heather. Aka exactly what I like to see.
And then the second fight was even more exciting, because Aviva finally started turning on her Housewife overlords, Sonja and Ramona. Aviva had hosted a spin class benefiting a charity she works closely with — A Step Ahead, which provides prosthetic limbs for kids who can’t afford them — and invited all the girls to come to it for publicity. Predictably, everyone showed up except for Sonja and Ramona, who both canceled at the last minute via text, which understandably pissed Aviva off. But when she and Carole Radziwill tried to bring it up with the ladies, they were full of the most inane excuses I’ve ever heard. Ramona had the weaker of the two — she’d had some sort of rejuvenation skin treatment earlier that day and was apparently all red and inflamed, but Sonja really brought out the big guns and brought herself to tears talking about how her 15-year old dog was pooping and peeing all over her leaky house because he’s about to die and she had to take him to the vet right away. And when Aviva tried to interject that maybe someone else could’ve taken the dog so that Sonja could’ve still come to support the event, Sonja made it clear that Aviva couldn’t understand, because she doesn’t have a dog.
…ooookayyyy, but what she does have is four kids, so she should be able to make the cognitive leap, no? Nope, not according to Sonja and Ramona, who seem determined to prove to America that they are a waste of oxygen. Tempers were flared, words were exchanged. We haven’t gotten to the serious rage-fests yet, but all in good time. Every episode we’re just laying that groundwork for St. Bart’s.
Hang in there, audience, it’s about to get Sonja and Ramona-tastic.