50 Shades Of Grey Author E.L. James Wishes She Could’ve Been A Sex Slave Like Anastasia

Hi! I haven’t written about 50 Shades of Grey in the last ten minutes, so I’d say we’re pretty overdue! So here we go! The series’ author, the simultaneously reviled and celebrated E.L. James, has gotten a little bit more specific about exactly where the idea for the book’s explicit sex scenes come from — her own fantasies. I guess that’s not super surprising. In any writing class you take, you’re encouraged to write about your own experiences, so they ring more true. And I guess it’s possible that E.L. James may have accidentally sat through a writing class or two along the way, when she thought she was in Home Economics or Simplistic Dialogue 101.

But what’s odd is that, according to her, she’s never acted out these fantasies. She calls Christian Grey her ‘ideal man’, but regrets never having been asked to be a sex slave. Yes, I’ve heard that regret on many a noble lip, in my day. Why, as great a man as Winston Churchill went to his death ruing the missed opportunity, and it’s a common theme in Mother Teresa‘s writings. It’s something many people miss out on, but luckily for E.L. James, she’s still alive! Thank god! You still have time to submit physically and emotionally to a man! And as a bonus, you’ve already written about it, so your kids will have the golden opportunity to read all about your debasement! Isn’t the world a wonderful place?!?

And yet, she goes on to say:

“Christian’s fantastic on paper but it would be a nightmare living with him. Perhaps I’d like to be told how to dress, eat and behave — but only for ten minutes. I like the concept, but the reality is you want someone who’ll help with the housework as well.”

What? How dare you. You have a reputation to uphold for young girls everywhere. You said you wanted this, so you will take it and you will enjoy it! Otherwise young girls will grow up never knowing that we’re supposed to look for a man who will yoink your tampy-tamp out of your body so he can stick it in.

And wouldn’t that be the greatest tragedy?

(Image: Michael Carpenter / WENN.com)

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    • Jdubb

      I am struggling to get through this book. Her writting style sucks. For instance she writes” I am momentarily paralyzed by the view” the she write “wow” don’t she thinks we think that means wow

      • Melanie

        I was struggling to get through your comment….

    • sthomson

      Yee Gods! A rubbish article, attention misquotation in the headline for gods sake, and the book is nothing new… Better written Mills and Boons have been around for decades!

    • Melanie B

      All I could think about while reading through this is that someone is either struggling with anger issues, feels jealous or left out. Lighten up, for god’s sake and have a little fun. Sounds like you could use it.

    • Jaybirdx

      ANA IS NOT A SEX SLAVE! Ugh, that irks me. She was a sub, there is a MAJOR DIFFERENCE PEOPLE! As much as i love the book, I hate that the BDSM wording is all wrong.