My day wouldn’t beÂ completeÂ if I didn’t read at least one Kim Kardashian story that made me want to retch.Â Seriously, I made sure that was in my contract when I started working here. “You must allow me to read and report on one retch-able Kardashian story every single weekday, with the exception of national holidays.”
And today’s story Â comes from the semi-reliable Hollywood Life. So while it may not be true, it soundsÂ believableÂ enough that I feel comfortable sharing itÂ withÂ you and treating it like a factual story. So please, feel free to read it and mass email it to everyone you know who hates out-of-touch celebrities.
Here goes. (Pretend I’m on a stand-up stage)
Me: Guess how much Kim Kardashian thinks a house costs?!
Loving audience member/heckler: How much!!
Me: Less than the automatic flushing toilet she bought herself because she’s such a huge germaphobe!
No seriously, Kim KardashianÂ allegedlyÂ bought a self-flushing toilet and happily said she’s excited to have a toilet more expensive than most peoples’ houses. Hollywood LifeÂ drops the number $100,000, but the only toilet that expensive is this one covered in Swarovski crystals. And I doubt she owns it.
Yep, I did some research and I think people are eitherÂ paying Â a lotÂ less in rent than me or Kim Kardashian has no concept of money
Here’s what I discovered.
You can attach an auto-flushing device to your toilet for around $149.99 – $399.99. Or, if hate accessories and the public-mall-vibe when you’re home, you can purchase the uber-deluxe Toto neorest toiletÂ Â for a little over $5000.
From an article titled, “World’s Most Expensive Toilets,” the Toto neorest sounds phenomenal.
What more do you need, when doing your business, than your standard lavatory offers? Totoâ€™s most expensive toilet, the Neorest 600, has a wide range of features to answer that question. For starters, the lid automatically opens whenever you approach the toilet. As soon as you rise from your state of the art porcelain throne, it automatically engages its Power Catalytic Air Purifier function. Six seconds after youâ€™re out of range of the toiletâ€™s sensor zone, it will automatically flush and close both the lid and the seat.
For those functions that arenâ€™t automatic, thereâ€™s a wireless remote control. A button-press can open, close or warm the seat, change the water temperature, perform a powerful â€śCyclone flushâ€ť instead of the automatic light flush or control the Washlet functions youâ€™ll use to tidy yourself up after using the expensive toilet.
What more could a person want out of a toilet?! Yes $5000 is expensive. But it’s still not approaching the average cost of a house — which was $221, 800 in the 2010 cenus. (I know, I’m a regular Harriet the Spy today with my research.) So praytell,
So where does that leave us? Either Kim Kardashian purchased the toilet on the International Space Station for 19 million dollars or she actually believes a home costs less than $5000. Both are possible and both disturb me.
Oh and enjoy flushing your own toiletÂ tonightÂ suckers!