A new ad for David Beckham‘s line of H&M underwear shows him rocking an absurdly large bulge in his tighty whities. Either the Photoshopper performed a bit of male enhancement, or Victoria Beckham is a good bit more stretchy than we thought.
Beckham posted the ads on his Facebook page earlier today with the coy intro, “Hey everyone, here are a few shots from my new Bodywear range for H&M. Hope you like them.” Translation: “Behold my monstrous package, meat-bags! BASK IN ITS MAGNIFICENCE. No, you cannot touch it.”
What is even going on here? Where is his actual dick? Is it positioned diagonally, creating a little tent that they made smoother and vaguer using Photoshop? Or is it just…incredibly wide? Either way, it’s impressive.
This makes me think Victoria Beckham does some pretty intense vaginal yoga to fit all that inside of her and then bounce back to her original, birdlike shape. I’ve always kind of thought of her as a brittle little husk of a person, ready to shatter at the slightest gust of wind, but if that were true, he would have pushed her guts out through her eyeballs by now. And we know that they have sex, because they keep producing strangely named offspring. I now have a newfound respect for her.