Thank God there are only two episodes left of this season of Teen Mom, because my patience for these girls is a fuse about to burn out. Everyone’s getting on my nerves this week: Catelynn is an idiot about figuring out her schooling; Maci bugs everyone about “what if Ryan and I had stayed together?”; Farrah drives away Daniel by being every romantic-comedy cliche of a desperate woman; and Amber may actually be suffering from memory loss but is still a major c-word to Gary.
Ugh. Let’s just get started.
DO: Know what tact is
Not all of our Parenting Lessons are for properly taking care of your kid; apparently we need to tell the teen moms how to interact with their boyfriends’ parents. Because Farrah puts her foot in her mouth an astonishing number of times while at her first dinner with Daniel‘s dad and stepmom. There’s the awkward way she works into the conversation that she has a daughter, which of course these people should already know but MTV makes it look like it’s a revelation. Then she hounds Daniel’s stepmom about not having any kids of her own. “How old are you?” Farrah pushes. “Fifty-one,” the stepmom replies, and for some reason Farrah thinks it’s appropriate to predict that the woman won’t be giving birth in her lifetime. I don’t even know what she meant when she said, ”You’re gonna be a loooone bird,” but it did not go over well with the rest of the table.
DO: Respect your elders
Farrah tries to find common ground by appealing to Daniel’s dad, who was a father at 19 and had three kids by the time he was 23. “That’s what I want,” she chirped — poor Daniel choked on his food — but his dad suggested she might want to slow down since she’d been through so much in the past few years. Farrah shrugged and stared vacantly at him, her look basically saying Yeah right, Pops.
Again, I have no idea how long Farrah and Daniel have been dating when he brings her to Austin to meet his family, but it can’t have been very long. Regardless, she keeps telling him she wants more commitment, that after dating a guy for a few months she can tell whether he’s marriage material. When they go shopping for boots for Sophia, she jokes about buying herself an engagement ring. Farrah, there’s a difference between self-sufficient and pathetically hinting.
DON’T: Be oblivious
Daniel doesn’t come back to the hotel with Farrah, which we all saw coming. It is a bit odd how the next morning he doesn’t show up even though their flight back to Miami is supposedly leaving in two hours… but you know that the producers figured everything out with him and just left Farrah to be confused and blame him for being a jerk instead of realizing how badly she behaved.
DO: Recognize when it’s time to get out
Sorry Farrah, but I’m on Daniel’s side with this one. He tells his friend that she was demanding “too many time constraints,” and while I think he should’ve actually talked to her about how she made him uncomfortable, he must have realized that a teen mother with cameras following her around wasn’t worth the trouble.