Ever since Taylor Swift released her new song “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” from upcoming Red album, rumors started swirling about which one of her many suitors it could be about. Which dastardly devil broke her heart this time? Who found the key to her chastity belt and unlocked it for all the world to see?
Like you, we’re aghast that someone managed to hurt her feelings again. How can this keep happening?!
Since our favorite not-a-virgin-virgin has dated some of Hollywood’s most desirable A-List members, it really could be anyone. John Mayer (again), Jake Gyllenhall, Jessa Duggar, Taylor Lautner, A Kennedy, Bob Marley’s Ghost or Joe Jonas.
We’ve waited with bated breath for her to reveal the man behind her heartache, but it appears she’s going to tease it out for as long as possible. After all, if you can’t garner good buzz off a failed relationship, what’s the point of even dating? (I think that’s a quote from When Harry Met Sally, but I’m unsure.)
Well not everyone wants to play her “who’s dunnit” game and that includes her ex Joe Jonas. He went on the Tommy Show this morning on 94.7 (fressshhh) and told them that it’s not him. Mostly because he ended his relationship with her on good terms and they never ever tried again. Also, he went to her show last year and loved it. So it’s not him.
Then he threw about 19 more compliments her way in an effort to make sure she never writes a song called, “This meaniehead has two famous brothers, I won’t tell you his name, but he doesn’t wash his hands after using the restroom and he didn’t hold the door open for once.”
Because dating Taylor Swift is the same as walking around with a target on your back. Sure, this time it might not be about you. But any day now she can write a one-sided ballad blaming you for ruining her life.
So watch out Conor Kennedy, you could be next. And you know what, that goes for all you men out there who date women and break-up with them. You will be punished for your crimes.
(Photo: Disney Dreaming)