• Wed, Aug 15 2012

Dear One Direction Fans: I Know You’re Upset About Harry Styles, But Murder Isn’t The Answer

One Direction fans continue to prove that there’s nothing more horrifying than a passionate fan base willing to do anything to protect their idols. In the latest news that will remind you to never have sex with Harry Styles, we find out that a One Direction magazine featured a voodoo doll of Caroline Flack.

In case you live in a place where tween culture doesn’t dictate your days, let me fill you in. Caroline Flack is the 32-year-old TV presenter who slept with the 18-year-old Harry Styles. Despite this being a completely consenting fling, faithful directioners didn’t take it well.

The Guardian reports:

The US magazine featured a picture of Flack with pins sticking out of her, highlighting her so-called “crows’ feet” and “dirty blonde dye job”. It criticised the 32-year-old for dating Styles, who is 18, saying “date boys your age, not your shoe size” and added: “Note: zero engagement rings. Because no one wants to be with her.”

First of all, that “date boys your age, not your shoe size” doesn’t even make sense. Unless Caroline Flack has grotesquely large feet. If we assume that she has the standard size foot, this would imply Harry Style is closer to 8 and a half years old– and not 18.

Second of all, come on. Voodoo dolls are so unoriginal. I’m not saying to murder Caroline Flack creatively. But rather, come up with another outlet for your jealously. Like creating a Harry Styles tumblr full of hilarious GIFs. Or Getting a tattoo of yourself with all the boys — Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson, Liam Payne – with your face front and center.

Those are healthy ways to act out on fantasies. Dreaming about killing someone via a voodoo doll isn’t.

From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • Cassidy

    i fucking HATE this fandom sooo much. i am a HUGE fan and i fucking love caroline. it’s not even all of the fans, just the annoying, obsessed, jealous carrots who dont like their gfs just because they get that dick and they dont. even if you hate them, dont send hate to their gfs or any girl they are talking to. dont send hate to anyone. because that means you are going out of your way to make someone unhappy, and that is fucking pathetic. grow up, she made him happy, and you’re never getting that anyway because harry obviously prefers mature girls and if you hate her, you aren’t mature at all.

  • Pingback: One Direction: Seven Things Adults Can Love About the Boy Band | TIME.com