Well never did I ever think I’d find myself attracted to part-time-human, part-time-vampire Robert Pattinson. But his interview last night on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart made me understand why people around the world are sending death threats to Kristen Stewart.
Despite breaking 9 of my facial hair rules, Robert Pattinson still came off as charming. Upbeat. Jovial. Happy. And basically every other adjective you use to describe someone who’s just delighted by life. He looked phenomenal.
I’ll even go as far as to say that Jon Stewart felt the same way. The chemistry between the two of them felt electric. You want supernatural magic?! Watch the interview again and again.
The two spoke vaguely about the fallout from Kristen Stewart’s scandalous affair with Rupert Sanders without using any names or specifics — and Jon Stewart even alluded to the fact that Rob Pattinson broke up with Kristen Stewart.
And by alluding, I mean by saying things like, “kick her to the curb,” over pints of melted Ben & Jerry’s ice cream.
Although Rob did not confirm or deny the break-up (or even use her name), everyone’s assuming that his lack of, “but no Jon seriously, we’re still trying to make it work as a couple!” means that the trouble really has come to paradise. Or in this case Reese Witherspoon’s house. A place Kristen Stewart’s tears are threatening to drown any day now.
Or the Super Great Scandalous Affair Show’s not quite over yet.
After all Rob, did finish his interview, his FIRST interview post-crisis, by asking Twilight fans to go see his movie Cosmopolis. Seriously, when asked if he’d like to give a message to all his loyal Twilight fans who stayed up past their bedtime to watch a political show, he said ‘If any Twilight fans are tuning in, I genuinely want to make Cosmopolis have a higher opening weekend than The Dark Knight.”
While that quote may come across as tacky to the average viewer, or even funny to a hardcore R.Patz fan, I just thought it screamed PUBLICITY STUNT. Especially since I’ve hypothesized before (on this very site) that this whole scandal went down as a way to get people to go see Cosmopolis, On the Road and obviously Breaking Dawn: Part 2.
And now the loyal fans, or I should say the duped fans, will march out in the millions to support their beloved and heartbroken Robert Pattinson.
What’s that sound? Oh it’s the sound of money going into the pockets of everyone involved with coming up with this stunt. Oh, that other noise?
Just the sound of my beating heart after watching Rob seduce it last night.