• Mon, Aug 13 2012

Now You Too Can Pretend That Christian Grey Creepily Picked Out Your Lingerie, With The Fifty Shades Of Grey Underwear Line!

"keep calm and laters baby" Fifty Shades of Grey lingerieI kind of love our editor-in-chief Jenni Maier for finding this news story and asking, “But I don’t understand—don’t they not wear clothes in Fifty Shades of Grey?” And while it sounds perfectly logical that a “mommy-porn” novel about BDSM would have its characters naked for most of the time, in actuality there’s a lot of attention paid to Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey‘s wardrobes. Mostly because it’s wish-fulfillment fantasy, and in addition to having a millionaire yank our your tampon to screw you and follow you around with his helicopter, young women also want all of their clothing picked out for them.

I don’t have my copy on-hand, but as I remember, one of the terms of Christian’s BDSM contract is that Ana wear only outfits he’s chosen for her. And of course because she’s a fucktard who’s not in touch with her sexuality one bit, she doesn’t wear flattering clothing to start with. Long story short, he dresses up his little doll in various stunning dresses, and underneath he picks out light blue lingerie for their adventures in his Red Room of Pain.

And now, you can dress just like Ana! From August to September, CopCorp Licensing will release a whole slew of Fifty Shades merchandise in stores, ranging from the expected (Ana’s lingerie, Christian’s ties and boxers) to the less erotic (T-shirts) to the random (wallets, diaries). CopCorp’s president Carole Postal is really gunning for this to work. “We believe the response to the products will be as phenomenal as the book trilogy,” she said, which means that they’re relying on female readers’ tendency to imagine themselves as Anastasia to compel them to buy all this themed stuff.

We can expect bedding and other bath products to come later since they take longer to produce, which means that couples won’t get to roleplay most of Ana and Christian’s sexy sex scenes for a while. (But perhaps this is for the best, since Christian doesn’t sleep with Ana anyway, and who wants their boyfriend/husband to leave you alone in your Fifty Shades of Grey sheets after doing the deed?) In the meantime, you can also peruse Pinterest boards like this one and stock up your Ana wardrobe that way.

Riding crop not included.

Photo: kissmeeeslowly on Tumblr

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