• Sun, Aug 12 2012

When Are We Gonna Stop Pretending Like Britney Spears Is Back?

I have a simple question for you today, internets — why is it that we’re supposed to pretend that Britney Spears is back to normal? The pop star and X Factor judge posted the above picture of herself on Twitter a couple days ago, and it really got me thinking. In the shot, she’s modeling for her Elizabeth Arden shoot, for a new fragrance, and she says her fiancee Jason Trawick was reminded of Jean Harlow. Okay, that’s all well and good, but can we look at the photo for a second? Sure, she’s all made up, but look a little closer and she has raccoon eyes. Sure, she’s posing sexily, but look a little closer and you can see how uncomfortable she looks. Her pose is like an approximation of sexiness, like what a child would do if you asked her to do a sexy pose. Sure, she’s wearing a gold spangly dress and a tiara, but look a little closer and she’s posing in fluorescent lighting in a hallway in front of a firehose. All the elements are there, but they don’t add up. It’s like the walk of shame — no matter how sexy your going out clothes were the night before, by the time you’re letting yourself quietly out the backdoor while the sun’s coming up, you’re gonna look a little worse for wear.

And Britney Spears is very much still returning from her walk of shame. She’s trudging back home with her heels in her hand, and I’m tired of pretending that she’s back to what she was. I remember that Britney. She was focused, driven, and on top of her shit. Granted, she was also being overworked and abused by the people closest to her as they pushed her to make money for them, but she had a spark in her eye, and that spark is gone now. Nowadays, I can always see what she’s going for, but I feel like that’s what ends up happening with most people. We can see what she’s attempting, so we pretend like she’s nailing it because it’s easier than admitting that she probably still needs help. Everyone wants her to succeed so we can have our bouncy pop princess back, but I don’t think that’s what she is anymore.

Sure, she’s hosting a show, and producing a fragrance, and she still dutifully comes out with new music and new videos, but she’s not in it. Her extensions are ratty, her make-up is messy, her dance moves are sluggish, and her face is physically different. I don’t know if it’s from drugs, or exhaustion, or from being bipolar, but Britney is a different person, and I honestly don’t feel like the spotlight is the right place for her right now, or maybe ever. What she really needs is to take some time off, spend time with her kids, and get herself together before she tries to continue her career.

Sure, we’d all miss the music and the drama and the gossip, but I’d feel a lot better seeing that spark back in her eye.

(Image: Instagram)

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  • Bryan

    Leave Brittany alone! She’s a human being!

  • http://twitter.com/Liam__Houghton Liam Antony Houghton

    i the biggest brit fan but i kinda agree,but she will never be “back to normal” this is just who she is now,different,i was on anti depressants and things like that and they do make your eyes dead and make you zombie like,i was strong enough to take myself off them (With the help of her music,funnily enough) but she bipolar which is a lot worse than depression!
    so it looks like its ethier zombie britney or potentialy if shes off her meds dead britney and i dont want the 2nd one to be true!

    • Boingfactor9

      What is “normal” anyway? I’d say she’s very normal. She acts mature, shows empathy for others where most stars are self absorbed. I always think it’s funny when people imagine what they think is going on in a stars head. They have no idea. At 30, I think she acts plenty mature enough. Put it this way. An immature, out of touch, on drugs-type person, could not juggle multiple career jobs, a show, albums a tour etc. People in emotional trouble usually can’t handle all that. In fact most normal people can’t deal with all that pressure. Yet Britney does. So if you mean she’s not normal because she handles more stress, then ok, I see.

  • Lindsey B

    If you having nothing nice to say then leave Britney the hell alone!. Real fans of Britney don’t expect her to be the person she was at 19 yrs old. She’s 30 now the Mother of 2 great kids and sorry to disappoint, no more meltdowns! Her life has improved dramatically since 2007 and I wish her continued success and happiness.

  • Jazzy B

    It’s just a picture….I mean Jesus, was a picture of her posing in the middle of hallway, during downtime…worth the essay?

    You must have been bored.

  • Billie Jean

    If you have nothing nice to say don’t say anything at all. She’s not here to please you or anyone else and she’s fine.

  • myself

    I’m a HUGE Britney fan and I totally agree, all I read is 100% true.

  • http://twitter.com/itskittibitch Kitti

    Talk about overanalyzing.

  • Alex

    Don’t act like a doctor. She’s fine! But you have some problems, I see…

  • J-9

    Um..i totally agree. And I like reading these comments because Britney fans are literally insane. God forbid someone has a negative opinion regarding their dear britney. LOL, keep em coming!!

    • Boingfactor9

      God forbid someone say something in defense of Britney when it has no factual basis in reality. Because we wouldn’t want to upset the “insane” haters, now would we? And if anyone should say anything but something negative, they must be insane right? Please give everyone a break from the typical hater in disguise type posts. We’re not that credulous.

  • Fraser

    I’m reading your article and I see you have an opinion. I look a little closer and actually realize that you are not a fan and still think we’re living in 2007 were Britney was doing crazy things. I look a little closer and see that you have nothing else to do in life besides bashing other artists. I look a little closer and notice that you don’t know Britney has had two number one albums, four number one hits, several top ten/twenty hits, two successful world tours and three new fragrances since 2008.

    Before you say that she is not normal, think again. Learn your facts you flop writer.

  • Sasha

    Although you have some fair points, why not consider that she doesn’t want to spend tons of hours rehearsing complex dance moves, when she has two children at home ? Some people barely dance at all and I don’t see you giving them any shit. Of course her face has changed – she is 30 not 16 – She still makes great records and sells out stadiums all over the world with some solid critical acclaim, besides, if she where to retire completely who would you have to bash in your spare time ?

  • Cori

    I really don’t like the new commenting system. Every time I go to, I look at it and think “Nevermind”.

    • Jenni

      What don’t you like about it? We can try to fix it if you let us know.

    • Boingfactor9

      Well, you could add editing for starters. The ability to delete your posts would be next.

  • Boingfactor9

    When are you going to stop pretending you have a normal, worth while life that anyone cares about? That said, it’s in Britney’s personality to enjoy posing for pictures. She’s a showoff and has made over 100 million doing that on the side from her multiple albums and tours. All simple math. She’s rich because tons of people enjoy her. And you? What do you do? Blogs on crushable? Please…

    As for your assessment of how comfortable she is or feels, you’re bordering on delusional speculation. Please grow up and stop being OCD with celebs. OMG OMG, wait. The OP is female. No wonder. Alexis, do you have any idea how many jealous, ugly, flat chested females have written about her since 1999? Again, please grow up and stop attempting to steer and control something you can’t..