• Sun, Aug 12 2012

Two Become One: Amazing Spice Girls Performance Finally Reunites America And Britain After Bloody Revolutionary War

While “if you want to be my lover, you’ve got to get with my friends,” never worked out to be the powerful pick-up line that I imagined it to be when the Spice Girls first sang it, I do have to give them credit for zig-a-zag-ah. That line never fails to get me a date. Mostly because the men in question assume that I’m inebriated and/or foreign — two fine qualities that upstanding gentlemen look for in a lady.

And that’s why I cried tonight when the five women  – Victoria Beckham, Melanie Brown, Emma Bunton, Melanie Chisholm, Geri Halliwell – reunited on the stage at the 2012 Olympic closing ceremony to sing “Wannabe” and “Spice Up Your Life.”

Not only did this amazing performance finally close the wound that’s festered between the United States and Britain since the days of the Boston Tea Party and red coat slurs and taxation without representation, but it also reminded me the five spices missing from my pantry.

(Also made me take note that I should invest in whatever plastic surgery and fish oils  and juice cleanses these ladies are investing in, because they look good, too good…)

Baby Spice, Posh Spice, Scary Spice, Sporty Spice and Ginger Spice. Five fine spices that could turn any dish from dull to delightful. From tasteless to stop right there, thank you very much, I need somebody with the human touch.

While it’s been a while since the ladies last performed, they pulled off the songs beautifully and reminded me what it’s like to be a Spice Girls fan. To want to gather all my elementary school friends and pull of a choreographed dance that screams girl power. To agree to be Scary Spice, even though I wasn’t scary at all.

To drunk dial Harper Seven Beckham and scream into the phone that no one knew her mom would be the breakout star of this group. Not because she’s not totally posh, but because they’re all such wonderful and inspirational women full of quirks and Eddie Murphy’s children.

They should all be legends — and  I think this performance might just be the magic they needed to make this happen.

That’s right. Zig-a-Zag-Ah ladies! You won the Olympics.

( GIFS: Reality TV GIFS)

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