• Sun, Aug 12 2012

Jennifer Aniston Predictably Gets Engaged To Justin Theroux, Angelina Jolie Predicted To Adopt Retaliation Children

Thanks to Jennifer Aniston and her desperate womb’s quest to be filled with a child, she got engaged to boyfriend Justin Theroux this weekend. Which means that America’s most famous love triangle just got turned into a love square.

And I think we know that Angelina Jolie detests being square. She detests it almost as much as clothing with color. So expect her to do something wild this weekend. Like introduce Billy Bob Thornton into her relationship with fiance Brad Pitt.

Or adopt 8 more children. Specifically Octomom’s octuplets. Octomom can come too, because it’s good for the Jolie-Pitt kids to see what happens when your ambitions are unrealistic. Such as Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s goal to shock magazine editors every year by rejecting the fashion standards set by leading celebrity child fashionista Suri Cruise. That will only take her so far in terms of celebrity child name recognition.

Speaking of magazine editors, our friends at People Magazine report the following breaking news.

“Justin Theroux had an amazing birthday on Friday, receiving an extraordinary gift when his girlfriend, Jennifer Aniston, accepted his proposal of marriage,” his rep tells PEOPLE exclusively.  ”They are great friends,” a source told PEOPLE at the time.

“They are great friends” could possibly be the least climatic statement ever when it comes to reasons to get married. How about their sex influenced Fifty Shades of Grey or Jennifer Aniston sometimes calls Justin Theroux “Brad Pitt” during climax, but he loves her enough to forgive her.

Something more exciting.  I mean, if I wanted to hear trite dialogue I’d watch Along Comes Polly.  Am I right or am I right?!

(Photo: Universal Pictures)

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