I don’t want to jump to conclusions, because I haven’t received my own invitation yet, but there’s a lot of speculation that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are getting married this weekend. They haven’t announced anything, but they are planning for a huge party at their French estate, Chateau Miraval. (Note to self: you have officially made it when you own a house with a name.) Family friend and slightly famous actor George Clooney is nearby at his Italian estate on Lake Cuomo, so he can jaunt over on a private plane as soon as they start to play ‘Here Comes The Bride’ and still get there in time for the ‘I dos’.
Brad’s parents Jane and Bill have already showed up at the house in advance of the party, and the official line is that the party is for them. However, the jeweler who made Angelina’s engagement ring (which cost $250,000, bt-dubs) is there, and I can’t imagine he’d just show up to any old party that Brangelina threw. You have to believe that a high-end jewelry designer would be a little more discerning. “What’s the name on the invitation? Brad and Angelina? Ugh, again? Well are they getting married at least? Oh they finally are? Alright, I’ll be there.”
Originally, Brad and Angelina had vowed not to get married until it was a right shared by all Americans — aka they were going to wait for gay marriage to be legalized — but after increasing pressure from their six kids Maddox, Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, and twins Knox and Vivienne, they finally announced their engagement in April. They have built a private chapel and reception hall on the estate, so they could do the whole ceremony without a single photographer snapping a picture, although according to French law, they’d have to go down to the town hall to make the civil ceremony official. So at least we’ll hear about it from the town if the rumors are accurate and they do get married this weekend.
All eyes on you, guys. We can’t wait for you to get married and start a family! It doesn’t count if you’re not married, obviously, so you’re gonna have to do that all over again. Time to get procreating and adopting!