The SoupÂ has gone to great lengths to mock TV and movie stars over the years, but they’ve really pulled out the stops for this one. On last night’s episode, Joel McHaleÂ announced (with that shit-eating grin we love) that on August 29thÂ The SoupÂ will host the nuptials of Jennifer AnistonÂ and Justin Theroux! They’ve already contracted the top experts from reality TV to make this day unforgettable: ShangelaÂ from RuPaul’s Drag RaceÂ to design the dress, and my personal favorite character from last season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, wedding planner Kevin “Shi Shi Shi Darling” Lee.
Oh, the bride and groom? Yeah, we have no idea if they’re coming. For all we know, they’ve already broken up and Jen is sobbing into her empty thousand-dollar crib while Justin struggles to write Rock of Ages 2: Suri Cruise Joins Her Dad On Tour.Â But that doesn’t matter! The fans want a wedding, and by God, they’re going to get one. Plus, technically they’ll beatÂ Brad PittÂ and Angelina JolieÂ to the altar.
Considering that Jen and Justin have been fairly low-key about their relationship except for this one creepy Uncle TerryÂ photo, I doubt they’re gonna respond to this at all. At any rate, you can RSVP via the Facebook event and get an actual invitation mailed to you. Then, in just three weeks, we’ll turn on our TVs at 10 p.m. EST and see what happens. With Mankini ordaining, it’s bound to be wild. There had better be gunshots and Spaghetti Cat as a guest of honor.
Photo: Terry Richardson