This is James Magnussen, by the way. You’ll meet him later.
Did you know that swimmers scientifically have the hottest bodies of any athlete? Okay, so that’s a statistic that I just made up, but it’s still true. Something about the broad-shouldered, small-waisted thing triggers some kind of perfect ratio in me that makes me want to settle down, have their babies, and knit them swimmies as we grow old together. Even Michael Phelps, who’s not all that conventionally attractive, had me literally blushing every time I watched him compete in an event in the 2008 Games in Beijing. It was a little embarrassing, but hey — I embrace it. I’m attracted to swimmers. And so is the rest of the world, it seems like, as Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, and Reddit have all been abuzz with pictures of swimmers from various nations and declarations of undying love and attraction.
I was hoping that now that I’m four years older and wiser than I was at the last Olympics, that the swimmer boys wouldn’t have the same affect on me, but alas. I seemed to have gotten over my Phelps-fixation, but then I accidentally saw a picture of Ryan Lochte getting out of a pool, and it was all over. He climbed right out of that pool and into my heart. (Yes, I did just say that.) And it was all downhill from there. The American swim team is shockingly attractive this year, but we also found hotties from Brazil, Serbia, Great Britain, Australia, and France. Oh, France. You have done me a great service and also a great injustice today. Because today is the day I learned that I can’t go to work tonight because I have to stay home and look at pictures of Camille Lacourt instead.
If you feel similarly inclined to while away a few minutes (or hours, it’s up to you) by ogling swimmer bods, then we have just the gallery for you. It has pictures of some of the hottest guys in the pool, and we’ve even included some trivia and factoids so that when they come up in conversation, you can contribute more than just describing the way the droplets of water slid down their abs.
C’mon, it’s a win-win.