• Thu, Aug 2 2012

Beyonce Will Play Two Parts In The Upcoming Documentary About Her Life: Beyonce And Beyonce’s Secret Surrogate Mother

In the grand tradition of talented singers making money off of themselves, Beyonce announced that she’ll be directing, producing and starring in a documentary about her own life. No word yet, on if she’ll also be in charge of the craft services. But based on her ability to multitask like a multi-millionarie, I assume the answer is yes.

Our friends (Facebook friends, obvi, well almost, the request is still pendingover at the LA Times tell us that the movie will follow in Justin Bieber and Katy Perry’s footsteps. They also mentioned the Jonas Brothers, but let’s not tarnish Beyonce’s reputation by grouping her in with people who guest starred on Smash and/or wear purity rings. Or were they nuvarings? Who can really remember?

According to a person familiar with the package who was not authorized to talk about it publicly, the movie is as a mix of music and personal study, blending concert footage with confessional interview.

While we’re extremely intrigued by this person who’s not authorized to talk about it publicly but still did, we’ll focus on how amazing this documentary will be. Whether or not Beyonce faked her pregnancy by secretly using a surrogate to carry Blue Ivy into the world, she’s still fabulous.Also, maybe she’ll use the confessional to confess some things. Like the real  reason her dress deflated when she was “pregnant” or how the illuminati picked out the name Blue Ivy.

All issues that plague me as a I fall asleep every night. Along with what’s the current ratio of commenters who want me dead and who want me to make a biopic based on my life. According to a recent survey, it’s at about 763:1. So not too shabby.

Also, it has to be said that she’s a fellow blogger now, so I have to do what I can to support her. Hence I’m constantly refreshing Fandango from now until the tickets go on sale.

Oh and P.S, this best be in 3D.

(Photo: WENN.com)

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