• Tue, Jul 31 2012

Of All The Disney Princesses In The World, Suri Cruise Chose To Dress Like The One Who Felt Trapped By Her Father. Interesting.


Gather round amateur child psychologists and join me as I try to decipher the meaning of Suri Cruise dressing like Princess Ariel on a recent trip to Disney World with her father Tom Cruise. Twitter hot shot @AlexFeoli snapped this photo of the two walking around Disney World. All casual like. As if they aren’t 2/3 of the world’s most broken family right now.

As we known within 2 seconds of seeing this photo, it’s clear Tom Cruise is playing the “I’ll say yes to anything” divorced dad card right now. It’s the best way to win your daugther over, while also turning her against her mother. Especially a mother who’s now all about discipline and middle-class clothing for her daughter.

Oh Katie Holmes, you thought you won. But Tom is just getting started. I’d expect a car under her Christmas tree this year, as well as the rights to a small island and possibly a full time cupcake chef. Don’t even try to compete with him. Just wait until she’s old enough to read and give her some material on what her father believes in. Make sure to highlight the part about aliens living inside all humans.

But that’s enough parenting advice for Katie Holmes, for right now. I know she’s just getting the hang of this “discipline” thing and I don’t want to pile too much on her at once. Not when she’s emotionally carrying the baggage from divorce and physically carrying her 6-year-old daughter.

Let’s talk about Suri dressing up like Princess Ariel, the voiceless mermaid who gives up everything for a prince who wears ill-fitting peasant shirts and straight-leg jeans. Why, out of all the magical princesses in the world, would Suri pick her?

As you might have guessed from my title, I know the answer.

I think Suri Cruise feels trapped by her father in his world of scientology and alleged contracted brides. She wants to be where the people are, she wants to see, wants to see them dancing. Up where they walk, up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun. Wandering free, she wishes to be part of that world.

And just to clarify, not the world where children attend school. Just the one where they can do whatever the hell they want without being audited all the time.

 

 

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  • M4

    Or, it’s her favorite Princess and she’s six years old. Either one.

    • KCL

      Agree. I loved Belle as a child (and still do). Doesn’t mean I felt trapped by a rage-monster of a dad/husband/whatever and was crying out for help. Not everything is that complex.

  • Kelly

    OMG. Talk about reaching. She’s six, for heaven’s sake. Her choice of costume is just about having fun and nothing else. Geez.

  • susan stassi

    Hey tom its nice to see you out, and having fun. But don’t over do it ok! you shouldn’t worry to much. Suri will always love you, she knows your her father. So stop worry and just enjoy, and go on with your life. your friend susan stassi,

  • Typical

    Wish I could send this article to my EX brother-in-law!,,,,

  • http://www.facebook.com/MatthewsMommmy Pixy Styx

    OMG seriously?!!? Thousands of other 6 year old little girls dress up like the little mermaid, do all of them have daddy issues too? This article is such bullshit She is at disney world and is dressed up as Ariel, would we have guessed the same meaning if she has dressed up as Jasmine or Rapunzel? Or better yet what if she was dressed as snow white? Would we then assume an evil witch was after her & she is escaping by living with 7 dwarfs?

    • Jenni

      I’ve heard scientologists employ dwarves…I won’t say anymore. But I did hear that.