I want you out of there, I’m not kidding.
Has hell frozen over? Because I think Ramona Singer of The Real Housewives of New York City has finally met her match. Spoiler alert: it’s not a person, it’s a leg. Specifically Aviva Drescher‘s prosthetic leg that she wears due to a childhood accident that required amputation below the knee. It’s a pretty standard thing, when you think about it. Accidents happen all the time, and Aviva is lucky in that she’s had lots of time to accustom herself to life with a prosthesis, and the means to invest in high quality models. If I knew someone with a false limb, I’m sure I would ask as many questions of them as they were comfortable with, just out of my own curiosity, and then get the fuck over it.
But for some reason Ramona can’t do that. This leg has become like a totem to her. You know how twitchy Captain Hook gets whenever that crocodile that ate his hand comes around? Well that’s Ramona and Aviva’s leg. On previous episodes it’s been weird an annoying, like when Ramona went shoe-shopping with Aviva and had to be repeatedly reassured that even though only one foot was real, they could both wear shoes. As if she hadn’t noticed that Aviva didn’t just stump around in one shoe all the time. Or any time that Aviva even mentions the word ‘foot’ or ‘leg’, Ramona’s eyes get twitchy and she starts trying to shush Aviva to save her the terrible embarrassment of everyone finding out that she has figured out a way to function normally with a disability. It’s awkward and rude in normal settings, but water is added, that’s when things really get exciting.
Ramona does not want Aviva’s leg in the pool. End of story. It’s all she ever talks about. It was to the point that she got out of the pool herself and was demanding that Aviva get out as well, because she wasn’t wearing her swimming leg. And this didn’t happen just once. It happened on two separate occasions, and Ramona was a guest both times. She. Is. A crazy loon. Does she not want to be in the water with it? Does she assume it’s gonna start bleeding? What is the deal? I don’t know, but I’m equally loving and hating watching it unfold.
But since we’re being honest with each other, I just have to unload a quick theory…the last time I saw someone get this amped up about an inanimate object was Lord Voldemort. So I really have to assume that Aviva’s leg is one of Ramona’s Horcruxes. Otherwise none of this makes any sense.