• Tue, Jul 31 2012

Anyone Born Before 2000 Will Probably Need Wikipedia To Understand MTV’s VMA Nominations For 2012

In case you woke up this morning feeling you had your entire life in front of you, check out the nominees for the 2012 MTV VMAs. You’ll feel older and more crotchety than ever. You’ll suddenly feel the urge to make the font on your screen bigger and you’ll definitely crave the feeling of hearing aids jammed into your earlobes. What looked like such a promising life this morning will flash before your eyes in a second-rate Youtube montage.

It’s bleak.

Unless you’re a kid, then congrats! You’re going to love this show! Everyone who ever had a Disney Show and then transitioned into a pop singer got nominated. We’re talking hit stars like Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez. And if that’s not enough to get you jamming out to the latest hits of Kids Bop 43, then hold on to your Harry Styles commemoritve mug because One Direction got nominated too. Did you just explode into puberty? No? Well the news that they’re nominated with The Wanted and Carly Rae Jepsen ought to do it!

Yes, every song that you drove your parents crazy with this summer is being celebrated. That’s what makes being born after 2000 so beautiful. Born in 1999? (Or for the botox loving ladies out there, before 1999?) There’s a little something in this list for you too. Ever heard of Frank Ocean? Well he’s nominated alongside tweenyboppers for best new artist. While that nomination’s defintley a mistake, we applaud the brave intern who managed to sneak someone for the adults onto the list.

Want to see all the nominees in one place? It’s right here. And yes indie rockstars Katy Perry and Rihanna made it! Looks like make-up free twitpics really paid off for those ladies.

Video of the Year
Katy Perry, “Wide Awake
Gotye, “Somebody That I Used To Know
Rihanna, “We Found Love
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care
M.I.A., “Bad Girls

Best New Artist
Fun. feat. Janelle Monae, “We Are Young
Carly Rae Jepsen, “Call Me Maybe
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful
The Wanted, “Glad You Came

Best Hip-Hop Video
Childish Gambino, “Heartbeat
Drake feat. Lil Wayne, “HYFR
Kanye West feat. Pusha T, Big Sean & 2 Chainz, “Mercy
Watch the Throne, “Paris
Nicki Minaj feat. 2 Chainz, “Beez in the Trap

Best Male Video 
Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care
Chris Brown, “Turn Up the Music
Usher, “Climax

Best Female Video 
Rihanna, “We Found Love
Katy Perry, “Part of Me
Beyoncé, “Love on Top
Nicki Minaj, “Starships
Selena Gomez & The Scene, “Love You Like a Love Song

Best Pop Video
One Direction, “What Makes You Beautiful
Fun. feat. Janelle Monae, “We Are Young
Rihanna, “We Found Love”
Justin Bieber, “Boyfriend
Maroon 5 feat. Wiz Khalifa, “Payphone

Best Rock Video 

Coldplay, “Paradise
The Black Keys, “Lonely Boy
Linkin Park, “BURN IT DOWN
Jack White, “Sixteen Saltines
Imagine Dragons, “It’s Time

Best Electronic Dance Music Video 
Duck Sauce, “Big Bad Wolf
Calvin Harris, “Feel So Close
Skrillex, “First of the Year (Equinox)
Martin Solveig, “The Night Out
Avicii, “Le7els

Best Video With a Message
Demi Lovato, “Skyscraper”
Rise Against, “Ballad of Hollis Brown”
Kelly Clarkson, “Dark Side”
Gym Class Heroes, “The Fighter”
K’Naan feat. Nelly Furtado, “Is Anybody Out There?
Lil Wayne, “How to Love

Best Art Direction
Katy Perry, “Wide Awake
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care
Lana Del Rey, “Born to Die
Regina Spektor, “All the Rowboats
Of Monsters & Men, “Little Talks

Best Choreography 
Chris Brown, “Turn Up the Music
Rihanna, “Where Have You Been
Beyoncé, “Countdown
Avicii, “Le7els
Jennifer Lopez f/Pitbull, “Dance Again

Best Cinematography
M.I.A., ”Bad Girls
Adele, “Someone Like You
Drake feat. Rihanna, “Take Care
Coldplay feat. Rihanna, “Princess of China
Lana Del Rey, “Born to Die

Best Direction 
M.I.A., ”Bad Girls
Duck Sauce, “Big Bad Wolf
Coldplay feat. Rihanna, “Princess of China
Frank Ocean, “Swim Good
Watch the Throne, “Otis

Best Editing 
Beyoncé, “Countdown
A$AP Rocky, “Goldie
Gotye, “Somebody That I Used to Know
Watch the Throne, “Paris
Kanye West feat. Pusha TBig Sean and 2 Chainz, “Mercy

Best Visual Effects 
Katy Perry, “Wide Awake
Rihanna, “Where Have You Been
David Guetta feat. Nicki Minaj, “Turn Me On
Linkin Park, “BURN IT DOWN

(Photo: Mark Cavill/WENN.com)

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  • Marissa

    I hate to make you feel too old, but I’m pretty sure Kids Bop is around #80-something…

    • Jenni Maier

      Dammit. Are The Wiggles still in? Or am I just ancient??