This past weekend, Ryan Lochte led his country to glory by winning the men’s 400m individual medley. But when it was time for him to go up to the podium and collect his medal, the mean old International Olympic Committee took issue with his choice of accessories.
The accessory in question? His diamond studded American flag grill, which, like Lochte himself, is both sexy and patriotic. Unfortunately, the Olympic committee hates awesome things (and brazen displays of nationalism?), so they made him take it out before he could get his medal, at least according to Wayne Drehs of ESPN:
However, once Lochte had the gold around his neck, he popped the grill back in and started chomping on his prize, not unlike a naughty schoolboy.
Why does the olympic committee hate Ryan Lochte’s grill? Was it too perfect an encapsulation of American culture? Were they trying to tone down his hotness so he wouldn’t break the cameras? Or is there some more nefarious plot afoot? In any case, I would like to personally volunteer to dole out any punishment(s) Ryan Lochte may require. For America.