I’m fascinated by this .gif of Kristen Stewart and her alleged older, married lover Rupert Sanders at the Snow White and the Huntsman premiere this past June. As Gawker points out, it looks like Sanders has approached his lovely little vampire squeeze, only for her to clearly put the kibosh on any red-carpet canoodling with a firm “Stop.”
Now, if you buy into the theory that Kristen was indeed fooling around with Rupert for months, it certainly looks as if they’re having an intimate moment on the red carpet. Perhaps he went in for a kiss and she decided it was too risky. Maybe they’re arguing over how he has two kids and a doting wife in Liberty Ross, or he’s ragging on her boyfriend Robert Pattinson‘s greasy hair. But because we’re still convinced this is just a big publicity stunt to split up and then reunite Bella and Edward in time for Breaking Dawn, Part 2 in November, we’ve come up with ten completely non-sexual reasons why Kristen is shutting Rupert down with a “bitch please”:
10. He said that Charlize Theron isn’t all that sexy.
9. He didn’t like The Avengers‘ shwarma scene.
8. He offered to get her popcorn for the premiere, but he went with extra butter.
7. He suggested that maybe the Arrested Development movie isn’t happening since we hadn’t seen any set photos yet.
6. He showed her his Volturi impression.
5. He thinks Taylor Kitsch should totally play Finnick Odair in Catching Fire.
4. He asked her advice on what would be the best engagement gift for Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.
3. He threw out a “YOLO.”
2. He thinks he’s totally a Jessa.
1. He brought up that awkward moment where K. Stew made out with herself at the MTV Movie Awards.
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