It’s Time To Talk About The Costume Choice Kristen Stewart Made During Her Day Of Indiscretion

Just got an urgent email from Us Weekly with the subject line: Kristen Stewart Admits Entire Affair Concocted By E.L James During A 2003 Twilight Fan Fiction Contest. Just kidding. The email just informed me that all of Kristen Stewart’s steamy photos from her day of indiscretion on Robert Pattinson with the very married Rupert Sanders could now by found online. I urgently clicked. After all, I have a thing for staged-director-actress nude pics. But to my dismay all the photos were G-rated. Like these could have come from the cutting room floor of Cars 2.

Out of 15 photos from a day when Us Weekly claimed to follow them all over Hollywood, there was only one of them kissing. The other 14 just included awkward poses that I assume actors make during their first day of acting school.

“Now, look like you love each other. Good, good. Now pretend she’s suffering from scoliosis and she wants you to embrace her from behind! EXCELLENT. A+ work Miss. Stewart!”

Like seriously, Us Weekly’s trying to tell me that a car tailed them all day through Hollywood and the loving couple didn’t even notice.

That afternoon, the unlikely duo cruised around L.A. with one agenda: to find secluded places to make out. As revealed in shocking photos exclusive to Us Weekly, Stewart and Sanders were “kissing like crazy.” Together in the car, parked in a rundown neighborhood on the west side of town, “Kristen was sitting with her back up against that driver’s-side window, and this guy was kissing her entire body,” the witness adds.

Either these photographers lived in the trees like the lost boys from Neverland  (RUFIO!) or Kristen Stewart and Rupert Sanders saw them and posed. Anyways, I’m moving on from this publicity stunt update to discuss K.Stew’s costume choices during her infamous-yet-silly flirtation with Rupert Sanders.

What was she thinking and what was she trying to convey to the audience with this disheveled college freshman outfit. The last time I saw someone wear this combination of clothes in public was when my friend woke up  5 minutes before brunch ended in the dining hall on a Saturday morning — and he had no time to change. A baggy tank top, baggy sweats, some kind of pant below the sweats, sneakers, fluorescent bra. What does it all mean and why did she wear it out of the house?

At least Rupert looked casual-affair in his jeans and jacket. (Casual-Affair is only second to black-tie casual on wedding invites.)

Okay back to the publicity stunt. This outfit proves without a doubt that this entire affair is staged. What harlot homewrecker would wear this out during a day of seduction with her married lover? There’s no part of this that screams “sex appeal to me.” Or even “appeal.” Unless of course Rupert’s really into this “shorts/pants under pants” look.

If so, he should probably meet the Duggars. I think they have the same double-pant policy. Also they l-o-v-e publicity, so I’m sure they’d be down for a stunt or two.

(Photos: Us Weekly)


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    • Steph

      I know it’s staged because she looks so incredibly awkward in the photos. Which is how she looks when she’s acting. I hope for her sake, she’s more comfortable around people she’s actually dating.

    • Jane

      I LOVE the Rufio comment. I named my dog Rufio from that movie. Sigh.

      Also, I thought the same thing about the pants/shorts/pants thing…totally staged.

    • robsten

      i call bull on rob for being a 26 yr old man he should have stayed and held his ground and confronted the woman he loved as he professed ove the last 4 years. instead he acts like a 16 yr old kid and runs to his business friend and personal friends actress friends and then mommy and daddy. any grown man would have stayed and talked it out with his woman and got to the bottom of things then either would have given her a secnd chance that we all deserve or moved on. i am so dissapointed in rob he is the coward that i see he is now that his true colors are showing.

      • K-Slut (just kidding)

        @Robsten, You’re only disappointed in Rob, not K-Slut or Rupert Slimeball? You,my dear, are a cheater, and that is why you only have concern for how the one who cheated/lied is being treated. She was kicked out & kicked to the curb. So glad she is out of that man’s house. She cheated on Michael Arangano, she cheated on Pattinson. R-Patz is EDWARD CULLEN. He is Edward and he can have any woman. K-Slut was knockkneed & cross-eyed in the 1st Twi-film. And when a question is asked, she can’t even put 2 sentences together. I’m tired of hearing her stammering instead of talking. Message to Rob: Run for your life!

      • lillicat

        She played the part exactly as Stephanie Meyers wrote it. And FYI, MA cheated on her first- but hey he was only 16 yrs old. You can’t call what Kris had with MA a real relationship. It was a teenage crush whatever.

      • lillicat

        Someone that knew him jumped on then off a GC board, and said they WILL be together again, that the circumstances behind what happened were extremely complex, that Rob still loved Kris, that he could never stand seeing her with anyone else, and on & on. I just hope they are together some where and that the paps/ gossip mags rue the day they ever pushed this PR stunt or whatever it is into a nuclear explosion. BTW, Kris was not “papped” coming into LAX, was she? Only leaving Toronto, I thought. Also, someone on one of the boards said Rob was seen on a flight out of LA the same day Kris completed the NY OTR press junket.

    • Maggie

      These photos are so staged and awkward! what affair looks like this??

    • Dawn

      Definitly staged! Looks like a photo shoot. Bet they had somebody there with them taking the photos. They were caught near the Hollywood sign. That crys staged!!!!

      • Dawn

        alomst forgot about a couple of tweets from Ted Casablanca. “Robsten’s been through alot. they’re not perfect. That’s why i love them. they know exactly what they’re doing. “everything ur reading about robsten right now is arranged. let em assure you of this.” I can’t help but think Rob is not completely innocent in this. She was clutching his hat the whole time they weren’t in the car and wearing his clothes. Could that be a clue that Rob may have been the one directing them? I don’t want to believe anything I’ve heard since this all happened but at this point anything’s possible. This was all definitly a staged scandal. think about this. Maybe Rob and kristen gave their teen choice awards back to the fans because they new what was going to happen and felt guilty and undeserving. This would all be the best way for them to have a private wedding. It’s the last thing anybody is looking for right now. Just thoughts and whatever the reason was behind what we’re all feeling right now it wasn’t the right thing to do. I don’t care what the reason, it’s not worth what has been inflicted upon the twilight fans. All they ever did was love these two actors.

      • lillicat

        Maybe they could attach themselves to Honey Boo Boo. :)

    • scallywag

      Can someone whisper into Bella/Kristen’s ear you’re not allowed to act like a ‘tramp’ (or whatever people think that word means) when you’re the town demi god. It confuses people, especially those that idolize you….

      ps- if you’re going to canoodle in public why not just send a press invite to all the paparazzi so you can get big time busted?

      As for Robert Pattinson he’s the wounded idealistic heart throb (swap the public here) blown a vicious reality check…

    • Flossy

      Staged? Really? I’m not buying it. Rob and Kristen have been intensely private so why would they go to this extreme to court publicity? It makes no sense. Also I think calling it staged is a nice PR attempt in Kristen’s camp to deflect from the fact that she’s a cold cheating bitch, wearing Rob’s clothes and his hat whilst cheating is about as low as you can go. That’s disgusting and she knows it so she’s attempting to use this poor piece of spin to deflect. Sorry I don’t buy it at all. There was no need to boost ticket sales there was no need to drum up publicity for any of the parties involved. This was not a stunt they were caught out plain and simple.

    • KStew Krew

      No matter if Kristen cheated on Rob or Rob cheated on Kristen….Kristen would be hung out to dry by TwiNation. Rob would be back on the market either way and all Twihard psycho Rob fans will be happy either way. Rob would not receive the backlash Kristen has gotten…all you Twi freaks would jump in line to get in his pants….disgusting. Have you ever thought that Rob may not be ALL THAT. He is not without his flaws even though you all think he is a god. Obvious he can’t please his woman. Kristen…..move on. No man is worth it if he can’t forgive you and try to work on what is wrong in the relationship. Go cry to momma Rob. Go party with your friends. Glad to hear though that he did cancel some appearances for Cosmopolis…maybe he is trying to work it out and find time for Kristen…they need some privacy right now to do that. Leave them alone. Truly I hope they work things out and ignore you crazy psycho fans. I hope they take away all possible media access from both Rob and Kristen, lock them in a room and let ‘em at it , just the two of them. This story is fabricated anyway. Reading waaaaay to much into the pictures. Tabloids have fans in a tizzy….cha ching….show us the money!!! “Voracious shit-eating paparrazzi”. I am changing careers to be a pap photographer just so I can ruin or try to destroy someone’s life. My new life’s ambition….NOT. You know, had I taken those pics I would have tried to sell them to Summit….bet I would be rolling in a lot more money….haven’t they blocked all of Rob and Kristen’s photos so far? Keep us wondering about their relationship so as not to wound the series. Big failure here Summit. Lol! All in all at the end of the day, everything will work itself out and all will live and love to see another day. Twihard fans will grow up and attach themselves to another heartthrob. Boo Hoo, cry me a river, my fantasy of romance and true love was shattered on the day Kristen cheated on Rob….the world will end….NOT. Ba Ha Ha!!!!! Go get a life now Twifans ’cause this ridiculous story is sooooooo over-rated and done. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ…..

    • Oscar Binfep-Trammel

      Staged? I am TOTALLY buying it. For all the reasons stated in the article.

    • Ally Pooh

      Please tell me you are writing a book because I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe! THANK YOU! Hilarious because it is so true.

    • sana

      God bless you man. you are so good

    • Anna Crosswell

      I’ve seen a picture of Robert holding that same jacket, and he’s usually always wearing his pants low. I haven’t seen pictures where Rupert makes it a habit to let his pants sag. I believe that Rupert’s face was photoshopped on. That looks like Roberts body/clothings style, and I could total see it being Robert and Kristen out on that bridge looking homely cause they already love each other. Dressing up isnt’ as important.

    • lillicat

      Oh Jenni, you wrote this before I discovered your site. I laughed so hard I had to run to the restroom before I peed my pants. Great article. You should publish all the articles you’re written on this entire mess. It would be a great little book. Oh, it must have lots of illustrations!!!

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