I hope you’ve already digested your breakfast, because I’m about to tell you something gross.
An un-named ex of Minka Kelly‘s is reportedly “shopping around” a sex tape that the two made together once upon a time in New Mexico. Aside from its more obvious draws, the video features “semi-professional” production values:
The camera is secured by a tripod and hooked up to a TV monitor, so both Minka and the BF can watch the action they create. Minka is very aware of the camera.
Gunning for a film career, perhaps? But before you get all turned on at the prospect of watching a video that was released without Minka Kelly’s consent, know that the boner you are currently nursing could potentially be an illegal boner:
It’s unclear how old Minka was when the tape was shot. Two songs from Brandy’s second album, “Never Say Never,” are playing in the background. The album was released on June 8, 1998 — 16 days before Minka’s 18th birthday.
Ain’t it funny how 16 days is all it takes to transform something from CHILD PORN into regular old adult person “nothing to see here” porn? Anyway, I think we can all learn a valuable lesson from this. We’ve seen time and again that “no sex tapes, period” is an unrealistic standard to expect people to live up to. I get it. You’re young, you’re hot, and you are very excited over your recent discovery of a thing called “sex.” But if you can merely confine your sex tape making to the year leading up to your eighteenth birthday, you can get the urge out of your system without ever having to worry about your shitty ex releasing it into the world, because most people do not want to be arrested for child pornography.
I also find it adorable that Minka was reportedly “singing and dancing” to the Brandy songs used in the video. Is that so wrong?