Chris Colfer Has A New Book Out, So Let’s Compare His Life To Mine

Aren’t people supposed to be dumb and lazy when they’re 22? I know I was. My favorite things were sleeping, drinking, complaining that I wasn’t in college anymore, and sleeping. You have no idea how much time a human being can waste until you turn 22. At least, that was my experience, and I thought we were all on the same page. And then along came Chris Colfer to make me feel like a human sack of garbage.

In addition to starring on Glee as Kurt Hummel, a part they wrote for him because he was so good, Chris came out with a book this week. And it’s not even a memoir so I can’t be like — “Bah, you’re not even 25, what do you have to write a memoir about?!” Instead, it’s a young adult book called The Land of Stories about two twins who travel into a fairytale world though a magic book given to them by their grandmother. Hi Chris, I’m sorry to interrupt, but you wrote a book in between filming for your extremely popular television show? I barely make time to write a post in between my mid-morning and mid-mid-morning snacks. HULKLEXIS HUNGRY. Oh and also, in case that wasn’t impressive or time-consuming enough, he also recorded the audio-book version. Also in between Glee shoots. And don’t worry, there are 70+ characters and he made a point of doing a nuanced voice and accent for all of them. YOU ARE MAKING ME LOOK BAD.

Oh and by the way, he came up with the concept for the book when he was ten. TEN. And bear in mind this kid also has a Golden Globe, two Emmy nominations, and was one of Time Magazine‘s 100 Most Influential People of 2011. To combat that I can tell you that I won a drama award in college, voted for myself at the last improv competition that I went to, and have read almost an entire issue of Time before. Oh and I’m two years older than Chris.

Eff. Em. Ell.


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    • Sorry

      Not to make you feel worse, but he also just wrote the screenplay for and starred in a movie that got featured at Tribeca and is closing Outfest.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Oh god, my life hurts.

    • Naureen Faiz

      And he’s written (Past tense. Because he already finished it.) the script for a second movie. It’s set in a 1930s asylum… but he’s only casting himself in a supporting role if it makes you feel better.

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        Sigh. Thank you for cushioning the blow.

    • Leslie W

      He’ll also have a second book (not in the Land of Stories universe) published by the end of this year, which is mostly Top Secret at the moment but will probably be a novelization of the first film he wrote, Struck By Lightning. He’s also currently writing the Land of Stories sequel and preparing for the next season of Glee and no doubt working on several other currently-hush-hush things. I can’t even imagine how he manages it, I feel tired just thinking about it.

      I’m your age, and I also feel like a slug in comparison to him LOL. But he works ridiculously hard and inspires me to try harder, so I’m incredibly happy for his success!

      • Alexis Rhiannon

        As am I! He absolutely deserves it, so I don’t begrudge him his success even a little bit!