Recently a Harry Styles superfan tracked down his birth certificate and tweeted it out to the world. While this isn’t illegal, it’s not exactly ethical. Then again, I think that defines the characteristics of a diehard One Direction fan. Always toeing the line, never crossing it. Always writing Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson gay lover fan fiction, always being appalled at the idea that it could actually be true. Oh to be young and free of consequences again!
Which reminds me that obsessive stalkery fans truly are the worst. No sarcasm. They are the worst. They’re slightly sick in the head, yet slightly more social media savvy than you. So just because all the wires in their brain aren’t connected, all their social media channels certainly are. If they find someone out about you, everyone will find something out about you.
Like this fun fact from Harry Styles’ leaked birth certificate. His name isn’t really Harry. Nor is it Harrison or Harris or Harrington the Third. It’s Harold. Just like the kid with that stupid purple crayon. Can you believe that?! Harold Styles. He just went from a global heartthrob to a suburban dentist on the verge of retirement.
Luckily for Harry Styles, his mum, Anne Cox,didn’t take this leak sitting down. (Or typing down…if you prefer a little dad humor in your One Direction posts) She tweeted back, “why would you even have that??”
Great question Anne Cox! The fan removed the birth certificate and tweeted out an apology. But too little, too late. Now we all know Harold’s real name. We also know that we can never trust him again. Because lying about your name is equivalent to murdering 6-8 puppies and you can be sentenced to 10 years in prison or a lifetime without the ability to detag photos of yourself on Facebook. That’s UK law, I did not make that up.