• Wed, Jul 18 2012

Video: First Trailer For The Canyons Surprisingly Devoid Of LiLo, Humans In General

Remember that improbable movie that Bret Easton Ellis was supposedly making in which Lindsay Lohan gets to put her dirty paws all over my internet boyfriend James Deen? The one that was called The Canyons, because The Hills was taken? To show us all that it is too happening, the film has released a trailer, one which totally proves the film is being made.

Just kidding, it totally does not. But it’s as fine a work of cinematography as ever I did see on Instagram. E! Online says that it looks like “a particularly indulgent director’s cut of the opening sequence of The Hills,” which is not so far off, as Bret Easton Ellis has sincerely(?) praised that show in the past, saying he’s “never seen LA look more beautiful.” Not as beautiful as it will look with LiLo’s crazy face all up in it!

The film’s description sounds titillating enough, but I hope it wasn’t written by Ellis, because it’s a little cheeseball:

It’s not The Hills… THE CANYONS is a contemporary L.A. noir from director Paul Schrader, writer Bret Easton Ellis, and producer Braxton Pope about the dangers of sexual obsession and ambition, both personally and professionally, among a group of young people in their 20′s and how one chance meeting connected to the past unravels all of their lives, resulting in deceit, paranoia, cruel mind games and ultimately violence.

That said, the song they chose is the breathtaking “Coming Down” by excellent garage-pop act Dum Dum Girls, so I can’t get too mad at it. In fact, I think I’ll add it to my Youtube playlist, as all of my music was just stolen (along with my computer) in Italy, and I need some songs to listen to while I replenish my library.

(Via E! Online)

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