Whoa. Things are going downhill so quickly for Suri Cruise that I’m starting to fear for her reputation as the world’s most stylish celebrity child. First her mother Katie Holmes makes some kind of grand gesture by rejecting all designer clothes sent to Suri, and then she shows up to see her father Tom CruiseÂ today– hands down, one ofÂ theÂ most important meetings of her young life — wearing flip flops. The shoes of Floridians, college students scared of catching footÂ gonorrhea in the showers and harlots on the run.
No one respectable would put on a pair of shoes that goes by the stage name, “thongs.” I mean, really. What was Katie Holmes thinking by making Suri Cruise wear those out for her reunion with her father. We all know she’s making a strong effort to normal the kid up, but this is too much, too soon. This process takes years, not days and if she thinks she can fix everything by making a few purchases at Middle Class Kids R Us, she has another thing coming to her.
What’s next. Jeans? Or heaven forbid, jeggings? I mean, I wake up in the morning, put on an outfit and try to think how Suri Cruise would make it better? The answer is always heels, never tights. But with this recent development that involves her wearing “normal” clothes and attending “normal” schools, I can’t help but worry that Katie’s choices will impact her career as one of the foremost celebrity child fashionistas. It took a long time to build up that reputation and it looks like Katie wants to tear it down before labor day.
Do you see us talking about what Violet Affleck wears? No. Because she wears normal clothes. You could walk into any Gap in the country and come out looking like Violet. But to go somewhere and leave looking like Suri? The only place I can think of is Heaven. And the waiting list to even get a fitting in there is years long.
So slow down Katie Holmes. You have plenty of time to turn your extraordinary child into an average suburban kid. Let her at least design a fashion line or launch aÂ fragranceÂ first.
Just give us a little bit longer to live vicariously through her. At least until another clear celebrity child contender shows up. One who’s so confident in her looks that she doesn’t care about havingÂ croissantÂ all over her face.
And why should she? Just look at that dress. It has star written all over it.
(Photo:Â Owen Beiny / WENN.com)