• Tue, Jul 17 2012

Justin Bieber Is Now Hot, Ready, Legal…And Still Hairless?

In today’s creepy news, the Rolling Stone August cover featuring  Justin Bieber got released (leaked?) on Twitter. Not only is Justin Bieber posing seductively on the cover, but the words HOT, READY, LEGAL accompany the sleeveless pic. I know the kid’s 18 now and I know he’s not legally a kid anymore, but he still looks like one — and this whole cover reeks of a Mary-Kate/Ashley Olsen 18th Birthday countdown type thing.

Also, what does it even mean? He’s ready for sex? Because I’m going to guess he’s already had it. You don’t grow up in the music industry and stay a virgin for long. Unless you’re a Jonas Brother and you’re selling your virginity. Then go on with your not-bad self.

And elephant in the room, he looks 14. And that’s totally cool, not everyone goes through puberty by 18. But his baby face makes this cover even creepier. Rolling Stone isn’t 50 Shades of Grey. So I shouldn’t feel uncomfortable reading it in public.

Next time let’s at least put a shirt on the kid. And glue on some stubble if the headline is anything like this.

In other news, super psyched to read “Global Warming’s Terrifying New Math!”

 

 

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