Did you hear that Tom Cruise kidnapped Suri Cruise from Katie Holmes this morning while the paparazzi photographed the entire crime?
Probably not, because I just made that up. Just now. I saw this photo of Tom holding Suri from their pre-divorce days and I just went with it because it sounded like a scandalous story. At least more scandalous than anything else happening right now in the world of celebrities. It’s like they all pressed their snooze button today. C’mon Amanda Bynes, can we get a little hit-and-run action.
I’m really into rumors lately. And by lately, I of course mean my entire life. 10 minutes after I was born, I told everyone my father was not my biological father. Within minutes I was the talk of the newborn nursery. Sound familiar? Baby Geniuses 2 was based on that very experience.
So while Tom Cruise obviously isn’t kidnapping Suri in this photo, it’s sure fun to pretend that’s what’s happening. And I think we all know that the paps would actually photograph it happening so they can sell the story to a big magazine — rather than stop the crime from taking place. Oh paparazzi, the only people with less morals than me.
I suppose the point I’m trying to make is that if you’re like me and you like starting celebrity rumors, this is a phenomenal photo to use. If not, disregard this entire diary entry.
(Photo: A. Miller/WENN.com)