• Wed, Jul 11 2012

I’ve Seen Lea Michele’s Boobs In Person, So This Candies Ad Is Nothing

I love Lea Michele. I think she’s beautiful, talented, and though she is way too bubbly for me to ever be friends with, if her singing voice was a tangible object I would have sex with it.

That said, even I can’t argue with the fact that there have been a few times the girl has gone overboard with that whole “I’m not a nerdy high school girl like Rachel. I’m sexy dammit and you people will notice” thing. Like my editor so wisely said, “You have to actually be sexy to be sexy.” The sexiest people are the people who look like they couldn’t care less about anything, did their makeup in the car, threw together an outfit, and still make an impact when they walk into a room.

Not that I’m saying Lea Michele isn’t confident, because I have no doubt she is (and has every right to be), but Lea Michele has never looked like she doesn’t care in her life. Even this ”casual” I just threw on a pair of ripped jeans (and heels) to go out with my boyfriend doesn’t feel effortless. It feels like she meticulously put those things together with the goal of looking like she didn’t. How do I know that? Full disclosure: Because looking good without obvious effort is my life’s work. And I’m 99 percent certain I fail 99 percent of the time. So I don’t fault the girl, but I also wouldn’t call her sexy.

However, I just can’t bring myself to say something like “We know you’re hot Lea, so stop shoving it down our throats” based on Lea’s newest photos or commercial for Candies. I mean yeah, this face makes me a little bit uncomfortable.

And yeah, the whole thing is a little bit over exaggerated. But it’s because (newsflash) everything Lea Michele does is over exaggerated. The girl’s a Broadway actress down to her core — she can’t help it. Not to mention, whoever was running this show told her what to wear, what to do, what to say and how to lustfully eye those pumps. And really, when you’ve already been up close and personal with Lea Michele’s boobs, a picture like this doesn’t really make me bat an eyelash.

You think I’m kidding? Oh no, I’ve seen ‘em alright. Granted she was probably 17 at the time not to mention lying on her back so you could pretty much balance a Jenga tower on her chest, but it happened. And it was magical.

If you want to watch a grainy terrible quality and illegally taped version of what I experienced, feel free. But if anyone tries to tell me that these shots are Lea Michele going over the top to convince people she’s sexy, I’ll laugh.

You can reach this post's author, Kelsey Manning, on twitter.
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