I knew there was something shady about you, booty call girl who attempted to extort millions of dollars from your ex-boyfriend, but until now I could never quite put my finger on what it was. Myla Sinanaj, the pregnant ex-girlfriend of Kris Humphries may in fact have been neither of those things. Earlier this week Kris stated that she was less a girlfriend than a ‘booty call girl’, and now Myla’s mysterious tweets seem to suggest that she isn’t really pregnant. Yesterday she posted the following on her Twitter:
The link goes to the picture above, with Myla baring her stomach and showing…no discernible baby bump. Okay so hold up. Sometimes women don’t show in their first three months, which is where Myla has claimed she is in her pregnancy. So it’s possible she is pregnant and just being weird about it. But her phrasing makes me (and a lot of other people) very suspicious. Is Myla saying that she isn’t pregnant? That she fooled everyone, and that’s the shocker? Or it’s shocking that she’s not showing yet? Or is she somehow responding to people saying she’s fat? I don’t get it!
But what I do get is that Myla has figured us out. She must secretly be a member of Kim Kardashian‘s extended family, because she has the nation hanging on her every word. This girl is famous for being the rebound girl of a basketball player who’s famous for being married to a girl who’s famous for making a sex tape. Not a whole lot of achievement going on there, in any form. In fact, Kris is the only one who’s actually famous for doing anything actually productive — playing basketball. But all three of them have in common that they’ve learned how to lie and manipulate the media to get attention, and then get more famous. You learn quickly, young Myla! I look forward to your response on this really crucial news story. I hope it’s just as cryptic and attention-grabbing as this last one, because you have a lot to live up to if you’re planning to fill Kim’s shoes.