Oh damn ya’ll. It’s time for a new season of Bad Girls Club. Who’s excited? Now, I’m sure there are some of you out there who have followed every season and can identify every cast member, but I’m a first-timer, so don’t judge me. My entire understanding of this show is that the girls are bad and they’re in a club. It’s a step in the right direction, but like any proper gentlewoman meeting new people, I want to get to know these ladies first before I hop into a whole season of bad girl antics. So here’s a post to get the hellos and how-do-you-dos of meeting these new cast members out of the way before these bitches get down to business. Meet…the Bad Girls.
This Houston, Texan supposedly graduated high school a year early, but I find that hard to believe, as she spells her own name completely wrong. Also calls herself a ‘nudist at heart’, which I assume means she lets her heart be naked.
Anyone who describes herself as the ‘white Snooki’ is someone who should be on TV, far away from me and my real life. This Bartlett, Illinois native has a crappy relationship with her mother and sister, but is ‘fiercely loyal’ to her father. Oh good, daddy issues. How refreshing.
Probably the closest yet to being an actual bad girl, as this Puerto Rican from Jersey City has been to reform school, participated in bar fights, and prides herself on being a cocktease. How charming.
This Middle-Eastern girl living in Springfield, Massachusetts, was injured in a car accident and used that experience to give herself a whole new lease on life. New resolution: party your lady-balls off.
Ooh, a former American Idol contestant, I see. Well, there’s nothing less desperate than being on two different reality shows! She lives in Boston and used to be a drama geek, but in her own words has ‘left her fugly phase behind’. Non-fugly and reality show obsessed to boot? Where do I sign?
She lives in Chicago and she’s going to steal your boyfriend. Oh and she’s a rapper. So she’s going to steal your boyfriend and then rap about it.
A local celebrity in the Chicago scene, this bad girl is of Algerian descent and has starred in several music videos. If she goes on to star in a beloved, long-running sitcom, she’ll have the exact same life story as Courteney Cox!
So that’s all of them. All the bad girls. Aren’t you glad you got to know them a little better before getting intimate? Your mother would be so proud.