Great News For Thetans AND Humans! Katie Holmes Wrote An Autobiographical-Ish Movie About Single Moms

Does the name Katie Holmes sound at all familiar to you? It should. The 33-year-old actress starred in the extremely popular 2004 film (among  girls ages 12 to 12-and-a -half)  First Daughter. Oh, also she’s currently making headlines every 6 minutes for her controversial divorce from Tom Cruise and their custody battle over Suri Cruise. Why is it controversial? Only because people question her daughter’s paternity, her estranged husband’s sexuality and her connection to Scientology. Other than that, it’s just another divorce where people say things ”Exactly how closely related are Suri and Chris Klein?” You know, run of the mill divorce fodder among average Americans.

While we spent years being on team “Really Katie!?”, we’re now proud to be on team “Free Katie and Suri from the evil clutches of Scientology and Tom Cruise’s Ageless Face!” That’s why we’re so thrilled to see that she co-wrote and co-produced the film Molly. A movie that  tells the story of a single mother and her daughter. Whether or not it takes place entirely in cupcake shops is unknown at this point.

Does the premise sound familiar? (If it doesn’t ring ANY bells for you, then I suggest you check your AOL dial-up connection and make sure it’s working.)

Could this movie be Katie’s way of telling her side of the story? A chance to air all her dirty laundry using pseudonyms and non-unique-Suri-like-names like Molly.

I say yes.

Especially because the movie’s going to start shooting in August in New York City. That gives Katie just enough time to rework the script so it involves a short ex-husband and a cameo from Nicole Kidman. And by cameo, I mean a highly anticipated scene where Nicole Kidman and “Molly” tell hilarious Tom Cruise stories over coffee and organic scones.

“And then he starts yelling ‘Nicole where the hell did you put my shoe lifts?’ which of course is utterly ridiculous, because he would need heels to even come close to being at eye level with me on the red carpet. God, Ka-Molly, him and those lifts. Those were the beginning of the end for us.”

I already know that Molly is going to be ah-mazing. And if the trailers want to quote me on that, then they absolutely should. And honestly, it’s kind of the least Katie Holmes can do if she settles her divorce privately. If we can’t be privy to her settlement talks, then I at least want some insight into her relationship with Suri.

(Photo: Anthony Dixon/WENN.com)

 

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    • Danny Haszard

      Destructive cult or benign religion?
      Orthodox religions don’t strive to gain control over your money and everyday life.
      Cults that are high control are Scientologist and the cult that I was in the Jehovah’s Witnesses.Scientology teaches that humans are infected by the souls of dead aliens called Thetans.
      Jehovah’s Witnesses teach Jesus had his second coming invisibly October 5th or 6th 1914.

      Benevolent religions offer hope, compassion, and want peace for your fellow man – even the nonbelievers.
      A cult wants power,money, and obedience. All the outsiders must be destroyed. I think that’s the big distinction between two different belief systems.
      — Danny Haszard

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