Correct me if I’m wrong, but the word ‘haircut’ implies that an actual comb and scissors come into contact with your hair and change its basic size and shape, right? It suggests that you put actual effort into the strands of dead cells that grow out of your head, in the hopes of making them look appealing to others. That was my understanding of what a haircut was, which is why I was confused to find out that Harry Styles, 18-year old One Direction member, has the most requested haircut in the U.K.
Really? That one? I’m sorry, but I really wasn’t even aware that that was a haircut. It looks like a mistake that happens when you’re so obsessed with your music that you forget to take care of your appearance. His hair is just flopped over on itself, it’s not cut at all. It’s not a mop top, it’s just a mop. The number two and number three most requested slots I can get more behind, as they’re David Beckham and Justin Bieber, respectively, followed by some other British celebrities that I don’t really care about. Becks and Biebs make sense, though, because those are actual coifs that look planned and intentional, with probable flat-ironing, frequent trims, and obvious effort exerted.
But Harry’s a different story. I don’t have anything against him, but I feel like someone should alert the British public that if you want his hair, you don’t have to pay for it. You don’t even have to cut it, you just have to fold it over itself until it looks like a bowl of human bangs. You don’t even have to worry about choosing between going straight and going curly — the more unkempt it looks, the better.
I’m obviously missing something, because I just don’t understand the appeal. But then again, I’m not a 32-year old married DJ, so I guess I’m not really Harry Styles’ target demographic.