An L.A. City Councilman is saying Justin Bieber should be arrested, and not for stealing your heart this time. The 18-year old singer was cited for speeding yesterday, after 911 received ten calls from witnesses saying he and his shiny shiny chrome car were reaching speeds of over 100mph. Justin’s manager, Scooter Braun, says Justin never exceeded 80mph and was trying to avoid the paparazzi, who were the real culprits of driving dangerously. But City Councilman Dennis Zine, who actually witnessed the incident and used to be a highway patrolman himself, had some harsher words:
“Bieber was driving like a maniac. He was weaving in and out of traffic. There was hardly any space between cars as he weaved from lane to lane…If I was on patrol, I would have arrested him for reckless driving. I was going 60 and he drove by me like he was in a rocket ship. He was a maniac.”
Now, Justin will almost certainly get out of this because he’s a celebrity and he’s got a whole team behind him, but in case he doesn’t, the whole, “I was being chased by the paparazzi” excuse is a little over-used. So we’ve taken the liberty of compiling a list of the Ten Best Excuses Justin Bieber Should Use To Get Out Of His Speeding Citation:
- “I had groceries in my backseat and I didn’t want the ice cream to melt.”
- “I was late for a meeting with Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan. We were gonna hit things with our cars and then drive away real fast.”
- “My…wife is in labor?”
- “I had to get home to check the blogs to see if Selena Gomez has broken up with me yet.”
- “I had to go back…to the future!”
- “My car is so stupidly shiny that it blinded me and I forgot I wasn’t on a racetrack.”
- “Me and Charles Barkley were supposed to meet up and go get blowjobs together.”
- “Do you know who I am?”
- “I heard YouTube was on fire and I was scared that the videos of my younger self wouldn’t get out in time or they’d be damaged by smoke inhalation.”
- “Snooki & JWoww was on!”
I think depending on the arresting officer, as long as Justin cycles through those, at least one should hit home.
You know me, just doing my part to keep America’s celebrities reckless and on the streets where they belong.