Bad news for all you Twi-hards out there. Yet another of the dashing vampires has effectively taken himself off-the-market. Twilight actor Jackson Rathbone, who plays Jasper Hale in the movies, is a new dad! Jackson’s girlfriend Sheila Hafsadi gave birth yesterday morning to an 8-pound, 11-ounce baby boy that they named Monroe Jackson Rathbone VI. Wow. That’s quite a name for a human being who currently weighs less than my lunch. (I eat really big sandwiches, okay?!? Jeez.)
This is really awesome and all, and I’m really happy for Jackson and Sheila and their new baby, but you guys — this is starting to get serious. As time goes on, more and more vampires and werewolves and even just regular human cast members from the Twilight movies are getting into relationships and becoming unavailable. Now, I’m not enough of a Twi-hard to know where Jasper falls on the Vampire Desirability Scale (the VDS, if you will), but this just as easily could have been Robert Pattinson. He and Kristen Stewart aren’t married (or even really openly dating, for that matter), but there’s a rumor almost every other day that they’re having a baby together. So what’s the hold-up? Why has no one made their move on Rob? I thought you guys were serious fans and I thought life was supposed to be like a movie…so why is it that no Twilight fan has EVER gotten together with a Twilight actor?
I’m sure these actors are really happy with their girlfriends and wives and babies and puppies, but wouldn’t they be even happier with random teenage strangers who just really really like the books and the movies? My whole understanding of what it is to be a fan is turning totally upside-down. I’m starting to wonder if Taylor Lautner and I will ever share that one, blissful night together that I was always so sure about before. Your inaction is wrecking my dreams, Twi-hards! You’re ruining it!
(Image: Ian Wilson / WENN)